Flash Gordon (1980)

I wanted to but couldn't!

Boring

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

This could be the 3rd movie I watched on screen after Space cat and Episode V… If I miss all the excitement from its sticker album I got too, honestly I can't remember it clearly and watching today the DVD, I understand why! It's just awful !! OK at 7 tears old in 1981, I couldn't really imagine something else but honestly with my adult vision, everything is a disaster: the opening title is worthy of actual Marvel, DC but right after, this outer space people who have a bridge in English seems so dumb! Next the story was boring as ever and the pace just a sleeping pill! Sure all the production is colored and vivid but after a while, it's too kitsch and really insulting: There is no money here and my school plays were even better than this cheap production! The special effect are just terrible and a shame for a major motion picture! The Queen songs are just overrated (see my title!).. Maybe the cast was cool and the rewind erase memory was original (and well done!) but honestly too much is too much and I couldn't get farther than the green planet and even at x32 it seems worse! For all of you who thinks it's a cult movie that you keep watching, I really want to see you and your living!

May God forgive George Lucas for Star Wars (1977). Its success led to such a huge wave of follow-ups, imitators, and wannabes, from America and out of it, written directly to cinema or based on old work, good or miserably bad ! Flash Gordon (1980) is one of those movies, produced by American-English money, based on old 1930s comics, and for the most part.. not miserably bad.While it has bases to launch a saga of its own, it doesn't realize itself as an enjoyable blockbuster, or strong sequel-worthy movie. And I have 2 accused of that crime !If this script has a mark, then it has to be that a lot of its events happen SUDDENLY. For instance, while the hero and the heroine travel by a plane, they find themselves SUDDENLY in a Russian scientist home, and within 2 minutes they find themselves SUDDENLY in planet Mongo !!! While the Vultan's kingdom explodes, and the lead wants desperately to escape, he SUDDENLY finds a rocket cycle, which he SUDDENLY knows how to drive ??!! While the heroine – who knew the lead since hours ago – wants to tell him a story, he interrupts her saying fondly : "Save it for our kids" ??!! So he SUDDENLY loves her now, wants to marry her, and she SUDDENLY accepts ?!!! I won't say more, I'll only add : "..and so on" ! For the second accused, I must recall the scene of defeating the evil guy. It doesn't exist in the first place, since the mighty and merciless Emperor Ming is finished without a proper fight. It's shown as random as a sneeze !! Later I knew that there was a swordfight between Flash and The Emperor, however due to numerous production problems that plagued the movie—it was canceled. This explains also the abundance of primitive smoky backgrounds, mostly terrible green screen effects, and obvious – 1950s movies like – miniature models. Clearly, there wasn't a budget for any Star Wars kind of respectable, or acceptable, visual effects !I believe producer Dino De Laurentiis wanted a cheap Star Wars saga, and with the matters getting worse, the ambition changed to campy fun, especially with a hell of plastic electronics and metal customs, fisheye lens from director Mike Hodges's side, all covered with tons of gloss provided by director of photography Gilbert Taylor (who was the DOP of Star Wars itself !). So, as you see, poor writing, as well as poor production, killed the movie's seriousness, even as entertaining action adventure, and randomness just ruled. You read things like how Sam J. Jones, as Flash Gordon, improvised the moment where he jumps into the camera screaming "YEAH!", as nobody could figure out how to end the movie ! That's why Hodges called it eventually "The only improvised $27-million movie ever made" !Speaking of that $27-million, where did they go ?? I'll tell you. To the sole perfect thing in this movie: The Colors. They mastered that element to the max, where the viewing turned into a journey into huge sparkling diamond, filled with seas of glittering red and yellow. To my surprise, I discovered that the psychedelic color effects throughout the Ming universe were accomplished by swirling multicolored dyes through creatively-lit tanks of water. OK, they should have called it "Flashy Gordon" instead !As for more pros, Melody Anderson and Ornella Muti are marvelous beauties from the 1980s, an era where the movie girls were innocent and extremely sexy too. I loved watching the all serious Max von Sydow as an over the top cartoon-ish evil guy. Despite not having a long screen time, Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin stole the show from Sam J. Jones as the title character. The idea of enthusiastic and hip "Queen" songs is so creative, but they looked strange in the middle of that camp festival (which enhanced the movie's campy nature though !). And I won't lie, some of the adventurous spirit, which the movie apparently was based on and dreamed of, attracted me despite how that dream wasn't completely fulfilled after all. Flash Gordon (1980) couldn't score highly at the box office, hence so long to the whole six sequels franchise which all the main actors were signed for, or at least part 2 which the last shot hints at. It is a mix of bright colors and loud naivety, and the real criminal is disappointing poorness. It feels like very dazzling suit, that when you approach it, you'll see how it's shabby, to the extent of having holes in it !

Based on the King Features comic strip by Alex Raymond, this Dino De Laurentiis fantasy-adventure is bright and plush and looks expensive--but there's no magic happening on-screen. Director Mike Hodges sets up battles and derring-do without much visual mystery. The movie's look is too clear-eyed and glossy, like a TV show with a high budget. American football player Flash Gordon is kidnapped along with a female journalist by the eccentric scientist Dr. Hans Zarkov during what appears to be an eclipse. Zarkov believes Earth is under attack by Emperor Ming the Merciless of the planet Mongo, and blasts the three of them into space in a rocket of his own design in order to save the world from destruction. The performances are intentionally over-the-top, although Sam J. Jones in the title role looks more like a villain than a hero (his tight grimace and blank stare aren't very exciting qualities). The rock music by Queen is disappointing, as is the script by Lorenzo Semple, Jr., who developed the 1960s "Batman" TV series. This effort, while presented on a grand scale, lacks even the heart of the 1978 revamp of "Superman". It's too square and mild, though its love for the source material is commendable. *1/2 from ****

As cheesy comic book romps go, this takes some beating. Based on the original comic strip series - images of which are shown over the title credits - this is a film that was dated even when it was first released. The years have lent it a certain nostalgic charm and there's no doubt that it's enjoyable when you're in the right silly mood. There's also the appeal of watching some respectable actors taking part in the chaos that ensues on screen.Bad movie fans will have a field day with this one. The plot is simplistic in the extreme, not to mention contrived, and the film merely seems like a STAR WARS rip-off. The special effects are also very cheap looking, being a mixture of that bad early '80s computer effect and some very dodgy matte work. A hilarious score by Queen serves to date the film even further. Still, at least they try and throw in a bit of everything here; there's plenty of action, from gun fights to fist fights, there's some whipping, romance, glamour (the girls all get to wear shiny bikinis), drama, male bonding, and even a rubbery monster in there too.Sam Jones stars as the square-jawed American hero, and to be brutally honest, he's awful - a really poor actor. I've never seen anybody so wooden. He does have an endearing puppy-dog quality to him though. Melody Anderson is the annoying bubbly heroine who makes stupid remarks like "Flash! Flash! I love you, but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!". Topol actually comes off pretty well playing an intelligent scientist and doesn't have to embarrass himself too much. On the other hand, Brian Blessed should be crying tears of shame if he watches himself flying about with papier mache wings. Timothy Dalton also pops up to lend some much-needed charisma, while Max Von Sydow goes over the top as the sinister comic book villain. There are also cameos from British celebrities like Robbie Coltrane and Richard O'Brien.One of my favourite scenes in this film, which I've always remembered since seeing it as a child, is the huge exciting fight scene on a tilting circular platform complete with pop-up spikes. This culminates in a Darth Vader-wannabe robo-guy getting brutally spiked. It's a lot of fun. While some bits are excruciatingly embarrassing, like the sad squad of flying bird-men, most of this is fun in a bad way and a couple of bits are surprisingly well-handled. There are plenty of in-jokes to spot and the whole thing is colourful, garish to look at. Besides, how can you hate a film which has evil henchmen who wear red gas masks? FLASH GORDON is the epitome of cheesy '80s fun and should be viewed as such.