Stan Helsing (2009)

Admirable film.

This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

This is a spoof horror movie. So it is supposed be funny. But it is not. It is scary. It is to scary. The hummer is a awful. Leslie Nielisen plays a woman. And that is to scary. I am not an easy person to scary. But this on did it for me. 3.6 is not a good rating. But still 3.6 is overrating this movie. It is badly written. It is also a lot of the actors in this movie are awful. The is pooh pooh. There is scene were Freddy Krueger is taking a pooh pooh. And there is a another scene with a man dressed as Frankenstein taking a pooh pooh. This is the proof that it is not funny. It is just pooh pooh. I do not want to see Frankenstein taking a pooh pooh. And I do not want see Freddy Krueger taking a pooh pooh. And I do not want to see Leslie Nielisen dressed like a woman.

Last year I developed a big addiction for mindless slapstick comedy. I made it my objective to see all the spoof movies that released over the past couple of years. The first movie to start this genre was 'Scary movie' It is a classic and possibly the best of the franchise. Originally it was the 'Naked gun' series which made this genre popular back in the day. Other average films released such as 'disaster movie, date movie, epic movie, and superhero movie followed, which didn't quite live up to expectations, but were fun to check out. Spoof genre still exists and I'm eagerly awaiting 'scary movie 5'. My expectations are not too high due to the average outcome of 'scary movie 4'. This genre still exists and I'm eagerly awaiting 'scary movie 5'. My expectations are not too high due to the average outcome of 'scary movie 4'. Jason Frietzberg and Aaron Zetzler started this but lately the quality is lacking in their movies. Stan Helsing was a low profile film that received a limited cinema release in the states and only got a DVD premiere around the world. When viewing one can understand that it doesn't possess the big box office potential. Reasons for this are obviously due to the lack of big names and absence of plot. But this doesn't deter one from enjoying it. The only reason I seen it was from noticing Diora Baird in the cast. But I admit I was pleasantly surprised from the endless adult humour and double meaning jokes. The only problem is that it doesn't make for viewing with the parents. The crass comedy may not be appealing to everyone. But it depends on one's individual comedy tastes. I think the failure of the film resulted from the non existence of a plot. Okay so a video store clerk wanting to deliver a collection of porn to a customer isn't very appealing. But what makes this watch-able is the endless comedy situations. The entire movie is shot in dark surroundings. And we follow the four characters who are to attend a Halloween party, make a detour to give a porn collection to a customer. On their way they get lost in to a quiet town and attempt to find a way out. Throughout the film there are countless horror movie references that are made in a funny and sarcastic manner. Unfortunately some comedy is forced and seem out of place at certain segments and over done. The horror movie characters were not required. They were not involved to any purpose and seemed pointless. The horror movie characters were not required. They were not involved to any purpose and seemed pointless. To add to that the ending was also pathetic. But one shouldn't expect much from the climax anyway. It reminded me of 'the police academy' movies, where something just happens at the end to give the movie the final touch.Bo Zenga who happened to be the executive producer of the 'scary movie' franchise directs this comedy. I think he did a commendable job. He also happened to write the script to the movie. I enjoyed the sex jokes. They made me laugh. It didn't come across as anything forced. Going by the reviewers on here, I can only assume that they don't find these kind of skits enjoyable. This isn't a plot based comedy movie and the entire focus is on the dialogues and jokes. It is a pity that people didn't realise this.

I don't really need to remind you why this movie stinks, do I? It suffers from the same problems that made "Date Movie," "Epic Movie," "Meet the Spartans," "Disaster Movie," "Vampire Sucks" and the rest. Like the others, it has no plot, no jokes and really bad actors. Someone want to tell me why people see comedy classics like "Airplane" and "The Naked Gun," and think, "Hey, I could do that." Un, no you can't, otherwise we would not have yet another waste of studio money called "Stan Helsing." I mean, let's look at this story. It's about a guy who gets lost trying to deliver some movies. That's it. This isn't a movie. It's a series of clips making bad references to better movies in a weak time line of incidents with a lot of gay references and bathroom humor in between. There's a lot of exposition waiting for something to happen, build-ups to plot points that never happen and when the movie runs out of time, there's a rush to create something worthwhile. Out of no where, the video guy suddenly "learns" he's of a long line of monster hunters and goes all "Three Stooges" on some alleged serial killers dressed as someone's interpretations of some popular killers of the "blood and gore" movies that pass themselves off as horror movies today. The worst part about this movie is that the actors here think they're pulling off a funny comedy, but they're not. What they're doing is embarrassing themselves. I just got to ask: have our comedy expectations sunk so low that we are expected to laugh at people putting themselves up to ridicule? Have we really become that sophomoric as a society? I mean, when I compare this movie this much higher edge comedy like "Airplane" which was even considered sophomoric for its time, I long for the days when we still had comedy teams and comedy shorts.

Oh dear Christ almighty! Van Helsing was pretty much a spasticated spoof as it was. Stan Helsing is a dedicated cluster fck of comedic incompetence. We see the ancestor of Van Helsing having to fight against a series of slasher spoofs. If the idea of Michael Myers (now called Mikey) wearing a yarmulke makes you laugh then a) you're a fricking idiot that should have been aborted and b) you might like this crap. The only reason to keep watching this is Diora Baird, literally couldn't take my eyes off her. The only 'joke' worth commenting on is the Michael Jackson pisstake. This shows that somewhere lay some comical balls of steel, or they stupidly forgot to edit it out. Probably the latter. It's a shame this was one of Nielson's last films, as it is quite the embarrassment.