Planes (2013)

Sick Product of a Sick System

A Masterpiece!

It's hard to see any effort in the film. There's no comedy to speak of, no real drama and, worst of all.

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

About halfway through "Disney's Planes" (hereafter "D's Planes), one of Ripslinger's (voice of Roger Smith) bumbling lackeys (Ned or Zed, I couldn't tell) admits Dusty Crophopper's (voice of Dane Cook) efforts to compete in the worldwide flying race is a "compelling Rocky tale". I think he's mostly right, except "Rocky" ends a little bit differently. But "D's Planes" has the other "Rocky" clichés in abundance.We have the underdog, a determined but outclassed and unlikely racing contender in the form of a low-flying cropduster (Dusty) who has the added handicap of acrophobia (fear of heights, but in this case, heights over 1,000 feet!). We have the underdog's loyal buddy and moral support in the form of the Mater-like fuel truck Chug (voice of Brad Garrett). We have the grizzled, gravelly-voiced, demanding racing trainer (and Dusty's idol) in the form of heroic veteran aerial bomber Skipper Riley (voice of Stacy Keach) who harbors a shameful secret. We have the unscrupulous, sneaky current flying champion, the aforementioned Ripslinger, and his minions (not THOSE minions) Ned and Zed (voice of Gabriel Iglesias), willing to do anything to knock Dusty out of the race. Finally, we have the diverse, colorful, if stereotypical fellow racers and opponents such as the veddy British Bulldog (voice of John Cleese), the flirtatious Rochelle (voice of Julie Louis-Dryfuss), and the flamboyant Casanova El Chupacabra (voice of Carlos Alazraqui).Yup, we have the millionth version of the underdog tale. But, in the final analysis, so what? How many films are really that original anyway? And everyone likes a well-told, inspirational underdog story, no matter how many times we've heard it, right? Right? Well, anyway, I contend that "D's Planes" has several positive qualities that make this same old tale well worth watching.The first, most striking one is its visual artistry and photo-simulating effects. Even though like its obvious ancestors "Cars" and "Cars II" we're dealing with sentient, living machines, the backgrounds and scenery feel so meticulously real and accurate. A second quality is "D's Planes" mechanical and aviation knowledge which I guess was inaccessible to most watchers except machine experts, but didn't make you feel stupid that you didn't know it (like me). I still found that knowledge was impressive. A third one is the race from the perspective of the airplanes - the bankings, the divebombings, the barrel rolls, the acrobatics- that convince you that absolutely nothing beats flying as the single most exciting, exhilarating activity on earth.However, the most important quality is the underdog Dusty himself, on whose wings the movie hangs. Dusty is ambitious and determined to be more than a farm worker, but he is not brash and cocky. On the contrary, he is humble, hardworking, and gracious and helpful to everybody, even to opponents like Bulldog and El Chupacabra. As a result, Dusty begins to grow on others who would never have given him a chance before, and even begin to help him. Kindness CAN pay dividends. Dusty even persuades the reclusive Skipper to not only train him, but to even overcome his own stigma to come to Dusty's aid when Ripslinger tries to sabotage him. Yes, Dusty is a fine role model.In conclusion, even though "D's Planes" lacks the adult sophistication of Pixar movies, and is going, more or less, where you think it's going, it makes the journey worthwhile. Besides the previously mentioned qualities, it's clean and family-friendly, except for a risqué bit involving removal of Dusty's "sprayer" to reduce weight and drag ("You can reattach it, right?"). The race showcases the globe well and the geological and climate obstacles the planes face. It convincingly converts the soul classic "Love Machine" into a ballad El Chupacabra uses to serenade Rochelle. Most effectively, though "D's Planes" doesn't insist upon it, like "Rocky", it convinces us that, regardless of the outcome, those who never give up are always winners.

It is not easy to find faults with animated films these days because there are so many being made these days. Let's remember that it takes a ton of work to make a good one, and you almost feel double disappointed when the film does not live up to its intended effort.Like I said, I admire the effort it must have taken to put this out. The problem is that it lacks a truly original story. This is such a formula script that I almost felt sorry for the actors who intended to elevate it and they do, but only slightly.The animation is very high standard but let's not forget that it's style have been tried out two times before, starting when we first saw Cars. There is little difference here but as I said, it's very well done.The script is so formulaic however, that it brings the whole enterprise down. There is also a problem with the lead character. He is just too goody two shoes for us to care much about his struggles and without colorful supporting characters to back him up, I am sorry to say that you feel completely let down about two thirds into the whole thing.So, what to do. Shall I recommend this movie just because of the effort that was put into it? Sorry, I can't. There are too many outlets for entertainment these days that it would be a terrible waste to see something so inferior for that kind of money a movie ticket will cost you today. Save it for a rainy day on Blu-ray, which I am thankful that I did.

Besides a totally predictable film and all the characters are totally forgettable, without any of the brilliant moments of it's inspiration movie (cars), this movie also have a huge geographical mistake: The part of the race between Yucatan, Mexico and New York, we can see the planes flying through a big canyon (colorado canyon?) in their way to new york. Unless fly all the way west to Arizona and then go back north east to NY, which makes as many sense as going from LA to Denver but going to Hawaii first. Of course we can understand the idea of action scenes of planes making hard maneuvers in a canyon, but children should at least be entertained with true facts.

While Pixar was able to make movies that were able to appeal to adults too (not only kids), it seems this Disney rip on "Cars" does not care that much about that. Cars itself was one of the weaker Pixar movies, which is not saying that much because it still was above average. This is a bit weaker than that though.We get through the motions more or less without emotion. Kids will or might lap it up as it is. But adults will have issues caring for the main character or anybody else for that matter. It checks every story point it has to, but that is something you notice more like a passing of signs on the road. Show it to the kids, but don't expect to like it yourself