The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior (2008)

the audience applauded

Absolutely Brilliant!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

I admit that I don't hate this as much as most people, but I still think this movie is bad. The main fault is how utterly clichéd it is. It features a guy who goes on an epic quest to kill the king to avenge his father. Wow, never heard of a guy killing someone to avenge his father before. The special effects are really bad. In the latter part of the movie, we even get a giant scorpion that's horribly rendered that's mostly invisible or in the shadows all the time. I couldn't help but think that this was to hide how awful the effects are. Most of this movie is predictable.I can't remember anyone's name because it was so clichéd. As someone who personally thought "The Mummy" to just be okay and "The Scorpion King" to be mediocre at best, I didn't have high expectations for this. This was apparently the first prequel to a prequel that was also a spin off that was also a prequel. Um, I guess it has some importance that way. TSK at least had a charismatic actor like The Rock starring and this practically has nothing to do with that or any of the mummy movies. You could just make it about any other character and no one would notice the difference. *1/2

I'm a big fan of the "Mummy" franchise. I'm the guy who actually liked "Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" and thought the first "Scorpion King" was a fast, fun film. So when I saw this prequel on Netflix (after seeing the third film in the store the other day), I figured I'd give it a go. I knew the basics- it was directed by Russel Mulcahy (who I quite like as a director, actually), it was direct to video (which is generally not a good thing), and I of course know that it is a "prequel of a prequel/spin-off of a sequel of a remake." Try saying that ten times, fast! I will start off with faint praise- this isn't as bad as it could have been. In fact, it has some moments that I quite liked, to be honest. But like many other sequels/prequels, particularly direct-to-video ones, it fell into one big flaw- it wasn't really needed, and they clearly didn't know what to do with it. As a fan of the first "Scorpion King", it seems obvious that a sequel should bridge the gap between it and "The Mummy Returns", and explain just how Mathayus went from being a championed hero of the people into being a fairly violent villain. This movie does not cover that.This film is a prequel of the first film (itself a prequel), adding an unnecessary and often confusing backstory that more than once causes continuity problems with the rest of the franchise. (A character speaks of seeing the pyramids, whereas the first film took place "before the pyramids", being an example)We start with a young Mathayus, who yearns to train to be a "Black Scorpion", famed warriors. He and his childhood friend Layla sneak into the training session. Layla disguises herself as a boy, as she yearns for adventure that women are often denied, but is soon found out by Sargon (Randy Couture), a ruthless leader who trains the Black Scorpions (I guess, I never really understood who Sargon was meant to be, asides from the villain). A fight breaks out, and young Mathayus helps Layla escape. The king witnesses Mathayus's natural talent as a fighter and demands that Mathayus become a Black Scorpion, despite his father's (a Black Scorpion himself) wishes.Soon after, his father is murdered by Sargon (via some strange magic spell), and Mathayus is sent out for training. Returning several years later (now played by Michael Copon), Mathayus at first serves as a Royal Guard to Sargon (who became king after murdering the past king), but is forced to work against him when Sargon tries to make him kill his own brother.Now, Mathayus, Layla and others who join them must devise a way to beat Sargon and stop his cruel rule over the lands.It's a very basic plot. And I will say, it isn't absolutely abysmal. There are some cool moments, such as a sequence where Mathayus and co. enter the Underworld seeking a sacred sword held by the goddess Astarte, and a scene that references "The Spear of Anubis" (the weapon that would later kill the Scorpion King Mathayus in "The Mummy Returns"), but all in all, it's a very clichéd plot, and the way the movie flows feels like it was written as a TV-pilot. There was more than one moment where I said to myself "Here's where the commercials go."And to be honest, if this WAS a TV-pilot, it would've been a lot better, and would've been more forgivable, as it flows like one. But that fact that it is meant to be an honest-to-god "movie-movie" makes it feel cheap and tacky.The acting is mixed beyond belief. Copon is actually pretty charming and isn't half bad as Mathayus, though he isn't a strong actor by any means. He's like Bruce Campbell in his earlier roles- bad actor, but a lot of charm. Karen David tries way too hard as Layla, the hot-yet-tomboyish female lead, and comes off as more annoying than fierce and fiery. Simon Quarterman as Ari, the Greek comic relief, is actually pretty decent, but the poor writing hurts him. And Randy Couture is just... bad. He doesn't act, he just broods and talks deeply and loudly. He was boring.Mulcahy's direction is OK, given the lower budget, but at times it felt too basic. Like his heart wasn't in it. The action wasn't particularly good. The CGI effects ranged from "acceptable" to "abysmal." It was all low quality in terms of production.But like I said, I've seen far worse direct-to-video films. I'd give this a 4 out of 10. If you liked the rest of the "Mummy" franchise, and can see it for free, give it a watch, but don't expect much of anything.

Every single criticism of this movie is pretty much correct. But I still had fun.I hate defending a movie because you have to accept it "for what it is," but I'll make an exception for this fine and dandy B-movie, because you really do have to accept it for what it is. There's no possible way to enjoy it if you take it seriously... but there's also no reason to take it seriously! But has there ever really been a "good" serious film in this genre? Precious few, maybe none.Somewhere early on I got the idea that the movie felt pretty much exactly like playing a D&D module, and that mental picture actually really worked for me -- it felt nostalgic. Once I had that in my head, it was easy to favorably compare the film to many other films that have tried the same thing and failed much (much) more horribly. I have turned off many other contenders. Notice I'm still not saying that this film was "good" -- just much less bad than a lot of films of the same general type. I'm saying it was good for a B movie.It was good for a B movie especially because the acting and script were not gratingly horrible. (Okay, the wrestler-dude king was as stiff as a board, I can't deny that.) But the young fella and whatshercuteface were actually pretty good, and the scribe guy wasn't so horrible either. They seemed to be comfortable and having fun in their silly little roles, and they were actually responding to each other, not just reading the lines. That's way, way more than you can expect from most B movies.So, seriously, don't take this film seriously. Of course it's not "good". If you want to watch this sort of thing, cut it some slack and have a good time. You could definitely do worse!

This is one of those movies that cries for your full attention; but this prequel to 2002's THE SCORPION KING is pitiful and the more you watch you realize this thing is just not going to get any better. The young warrior Mathayus(Michael Copon)witnesses his father's death at the hands of the evil and powerful King Sargon(Ultimate Fighting champ Randy Couture). Mathayus trains six years to become one of the King's elite body guards the Black Scorpions and all the while plots to avenge his father's death. Some real nice special effects, but the dialog is so ridiculous anything redeemable is buried in the sand. The exciting fight scenes are just not enough to carry a movie that seems to lumber on aimlessly.The cast includes: Simon Quarterman, Karen David, Tom Wu, Jeremy Crutchley and Natalie Becker.