Wrong Turn 5: Bloodlines (2012)

Why so much hype?

A lot of fun.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

The most positive thing you can say about the surprisingly long "Wrong Turn"-series is that at least they never make the same movie twice. Hell, this one even has a promising new premise. This time around One Eye, Saw Tooth and Three Finger do their killing during some sort of Halloween festival, which certainly has a lot of potential. Sadly the movie does absolutely nothing with that element, completely abandoning it halfway through (I'm assuming for budgetary reasons).Instead, we get a bunch of British actors with unconvincing American accents walk through a town that literally has one street. Usually a thing like that doesn't bother me in a cheap B-movie, but this is some of the most blatantly obvious sound stage work I've ever seen. The graveyard scenes from "Plan 9 From Outer Space" certainly come to mind when you see these people walk around the cardboard sets. These streets are also completely deserted, even though there's a music festival in town. Again, the hillbillies blending into a crowd (which would be easy at a horror festival) and killing people left and right could have been a great scene, but clearly too much of a hassle for these filmmakers.I also have a problem with the story of the movie, because the plot is fueled by main villain Maynard (Doug Bradley, creepy as always) being locked up in the local police jail. His dialogue consists mostly of threats about how 'his boys will get him out'. You assume it's going to be a retelling of John Carpenter's "Assault On Precinct 13", with the hillbillies finding clever ways to kill their victims in and around the police station, slowly getting closer to freeing Maynard. None of that happens. Even though they're all fully aware of the threat, the characters just leave the station one by one anyway to stand around cluelessly and be murdered. It's lazy writing and it makes you lose any sympathy you could have had for the characters. When crazed cannibals are running around 'town', you don't stand around in the middle of the 'street' screaming the name of whichever character died a couple of scenes ago. Even the average horror movie character isn't that retarded.With that said, the movie does provide some of the best gore scenes in the entire franchise. I was somewhat worried about that, because the first two kills rely very heavily on dirt-cheap CGI. Particularly the scene where the deputy loses his ears looks like something a (messed-up) kid would make on his home computer. It also falls into the lazy writing category, as the armed deputy just stands there waiting to be killed. Later though, we actually get some great-looking practical effects. The lawnmower kill scene might be my favorite of the entire franchise. Furthermore, we also get two genuinely likable characters: sheriff Angela and Mose, the town drunk who tries to redeem himself over the course of the movie. Them defending the police station could have been a great third act, but the movie doesn't even bother to give us an actual ending.So "Wrong Turn 5" basically just drags itself from one death to the next, but I guess you can't expect much more from a title like this. However, it could have easily been more with some more money and effort put into it.

A group of clueless college friends are searching for some fun at the legendary Mountain Man Festival on Halloween in the backwoods of West Virginia. Crowds of costumed party-goers gather for some hard music and mischief. The visiting college group have some car trouble, but are still dying to have some fun. They don't realize the crowd is being invaded by inbred hillbilly cannibals. Trick or treating heathens turn the celebration into a bloodbath.Gruesome, gory and disturbing images. Gut twisting horror. This time might be a one and done. Enjoy buckets of blood. Written and directed by Delan O'Brien and filmed in Romania. The cast includes: Doug Bradley, Rosie Holden, Camilla Arfwedson, Paul Luebke, Amy Lennox, Simon Ginty, Radoslav Parvanov, Borislav Ilev and Roxanne McKee.

Some teenagers go to a festival in a small town where a kind of Halloween masquerade takes place. When an old man attacks them with a knife, the kids get arrested too, because they carry drugs on them. However, the old man is the leader of the freaks we know from the previous parts of the series. They come to rescue 'daddy', and among the Halloween masks, they don't even attract too much attention with their looks. The police station is soon under siege, a situation reminding me of the John Carpenter classic 'Assault on Precinct 13'.Part 5 is probably the most vicious episode of them all, not hiding the violence in a dark forest, but openly showing it in the streets and enjoying it to a degree some viewers may find disturbing. There were 5 major censorship cuts in the DVD released in my country, and it is not hard to see why (some missing footage could be spotted in the bonus material, anyway). Not that I was angry about that - it was over a bit sooner. 'Wrong Turn 5' is rather crude and simple, splatter effects over story content, apparently the series is on its decline here. Camilla Arfwedson got a great female lead role as the sheriff at least. I voted 8/4/6/7/5/4 for the 6 movies.

The latest entry in the Wrong Turn franchise, a morally inept and reprehensible piece of trash that does nothing more than add an extra nail to the coffin of what is the horror genre, if you can even call this a horror movie.But, I can't blame those involved entirely. I knew what to expect. After being subjected to the fourth film, and drawing the same conclusions basically, when I saw Declan O'Brien was helming this installment, I rolled my eyes in aggravation, as I knew this would turn out no better than the last installment.There is no need for this movie to exist. There is no point in this movie's being. It serves no purpose, has no moral, other than being a quick and easy meal ticket for those involved in its conception. It's lazy, it's cheap, it's a mean-spirited and sadistic piece of trash. And courtesy of IMDb's censorship rules, I almost feel like I'm complimenting the movie by that statement. I feel even referring to it as a movie is insulting. This wasn't a movie. This wasn't entertainment. This was a snuff flick. It doesn't care whether you like it or not. This is arguably the lowest both the franchise and the horror genre have ever gotten, and do you know what really leaves a sour taste in my mouth? This isn't the last we'll see of it. As of now, we're upon the release of the third installment of the Joy Ride series (or Road Kill as it's known internationally), the latest installment being helmed by none other than Declan O'Brien. So I have this to say: thank you, Mr. O'Brien. Because I now realise that if you can make it in this business, then anybody can. You could make the most mind-numbingly dumb, sadistic, contemptible, no-talent-required piece of crap on the planet, and still continue to get hired for work. So thank you for giving me hope. And thank you for burying this franchise with your piece of s*it, god-awful installments. I at least have some hope, because no matter how bad the upcoming Wrong Turn 6 may be, they can't do any worse than you already have.