Stealth Fighter (1999)

best movie i've ever seen.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

"The Ultimate Street Fight At 50,000 Feet!" As if Desert Thunder (1999) wasn't enough, from the team of Jim Wynorski, Lenny Juliano, some stock footage, miniatures, and a green screen comes Stealth Fighter, the tale of Ryan "Iron Man" Mitchell (Mandylor) a Harry Connick Jr. lookalike who is a member of a special ops team who reports directly to President Westwood (Hudson). When his former buddy Owen Turner (-T) starts working for evil terrorist mastermind Roberto Menendez (Divoff), bad things start to happen.They sink a submarine with a full crew on board, initiate the killer satellite Thanatos to blow up the world, and on top of that, Turner steals a stealth fighter jet. Meanwhile Mitchell is trying to repair his family life with his wife Erin (Eleniak) and daughter J.P. (Dampf). So he offers to go on this one last mission to save the world.You know Menendez is evil because he sports an ascot. Lister plays his muscle named Berg. All he does is bug out his eyes. The best actor in the movie is Sarah Dampf as Mitchell's precocious daughter. The code name "Eagle One" makes another appearance just like in Desert Thunder. The movie is filled to the brim with silly slang and you have to activate the closed captioning to understand the dialogue: "You've just been splashed!", "The Bird", The usage of "SAMS", etc. There's also the funny mission names such as "Black Raven" and "Operation: Clean Sweep".A tongue-in-cheek scene occurs when William Sadler, as Mitchell's commanding officer Frank Peterson, sits behind his desk and yells "You're a wild card!" Also in that scene, Sadler calls him "Kenny" for some reason. Strangely, his daughter claims to have a boyfriend named Kenny. In that same scene, his wife offers Mitchell some iced tea. Of all drinks, why that? Speaking of the man, he wears some funny shirts and spits out his lines in his own inimitable way. He's part tough, part goofy. Somehow he doesn't seem like an expert with planes. In the final battle between him and Mitchell, we even get to see his martial arts stylings, or Ice-Fu if you will.Many things in Stealth Fighter are prescient. Ernie Hudson is cast as the President, predating Obama. They talk about Electro-magnetic Pulse attacks, which have been in the news recently.The title has two meanings: Mitchell himself, and the plane in question. The submarine subplot wasn't substantial, it was pretty subpar.In all, if you like cardboard planes, goofy DTV action, Jim Wynorski, or Desert Thunder (which is superior to this) and you want slang-filled, utterly brainless action, then watch Stealth Fighter.For more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

Well, this is a busy little film. There is a stricken submarine on the bottom of the sea, an orbiting death ray ("It's not part of the Star Wars project, IT IS the Star Wars project!") and a stolen stealth fighter that is used by one of the villains as a rather excessive assassination weapon. All of which add up to .... not much at all. Low budget film making can be an art in the sense that good imagination can make up for a lack of dollars, besting mega-budget productions, but not in this case. Using other people's footage can lead to wonderful continuity blunders. For example the villains are hiding out in Angola and our heroes get dropped off an aircraft carrier and paddle to the shore. Unfortunately the caption on the borrowed footage says the aircraft carried is off the coast of Lebanon! Our heroes had a heck of a lot of paddling to do.And Ice T may have played that funky music once upon a time but as an actor in this he is laughable. All the menace of a wet lettuce. A paltry effort and not even the great William Sadler could save it. His character blows his brains out near the end. One knew how he felt.

I have a strange love for the low budget action movies that collect dust on the shelf of video stores. The ones that might get play on ActionMax, but are understandably overlooked by everyone else. I suckered myself into watching it, and was oddly absorbed into it's fun opening scene involving a raid on a drug plant. Its opening is a good attention getter to keep the audience from shutting it off or turning the channel, but unfortunately the scenes that follow get increasingly horrible. The extremely sloppy and unorganized,not to mention predictable, script involving a renegade named Turner's (Ice-T) work against the United States with the help of a foriegn employer and a Stealth Fighter, a burnt out military pilot whose home life comes apart in clcihed fashion, and a completely unrelated and laughable subplot about a stranded submarine which stands for absolutely nothing and has no relevance whatsoever with the story. This seperate time-filler leaves you feeling extremely manipulated, and ends in an irony that should cause some good laughs. I would recommend watching a scene with Ice-T for some bad writing matched equally with his funny performance. Turn the channel immediately after, I caution. The director Jim Wyrnuski (or whatever it is) worked with Fred Olen Ray on "Dinasour Island" then oddly fashioned his career after him (Olen Ray did a stealth movie at the same time). I will only say this, a Fred Olen Ray wannabe is the most pathetic label I have ever heard in my entire life.

I don't know who came up with this film, but the casting director and the props person need to be glued together for about a month just to teach them a lesson. President Ernie Hudson? Do you take us for saps? Did anyone notice that during the tense negotiation scene with the bad guys, the President and his cabinet are sitting in what could be characterized as a small grade school classroom? watching a 19 inch tv monitor? while all assembled around a small dinner table? You can actually see them all being visibly uncomfortable, since they all can't fit into the picture at once. Ernie has a look on his face as though the camera crew didn't let him eat any catered donuts that morning--he's hungry and wondering where his life went.Isn't the President supposed to have a big "situation" room, with padded chairs, big screen tv monitors and a huge conference table for when he negotiates with bad guys? If I were a bad guy, negotiating with Pres. Hudson while his staff all has to stand over his shoulder so they can see the tv would be impetus for all kinds of mischief. I bet when one of them stands up, he better call "fives" or someone takes his chair.And who wrote Ice-T's lines? I certainly hope it wasn't the Ice-Man himself. Note to self, Ice: any tough-sounding one-liner that ends in the phrase "peach trees" is not all that tough to begin with. Wasn't this guy a rapper? Can't he sound any more intimidating than that?Ice - T vs. Ernie Hudson in a battle for the world? Perhaps under-water living is the life for me, after all. Do yourself a favor..don't watch this movie. Go rent Ghostbusters, put on an Ice-T CD, and punch yourself in the groin for 2 hours.