Chupacabra Terror (2005)

Sadly Over-hyped

Good concept, poorly executed.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

Dr. Pena (Giancarlo Esposito), a "crypto-zoologist" (fancy term for one of those self-deluded losers who likes to study extremely rare - read: nonexistent - animals) and his crew of hunters manage to trap a Chupacabra, a big, scaly, elusive fast-moving beast. To get it to the mainland, they smuggle it on a Grecian cruise ship and some idiots open up the crate containing it despite being told specifically not to. I guess the strange growling noises coming from inside weren't a good enough deterrent either. The monster then does the monster thang; running around biting chunks out of various passengers until the ship's captain (John Rhys-Davies), a square-jawed special agent pretending to be an insurance salesman for some reason (Dylan Neal), a squeaky-voiced blonde Tai Bo instructor (Chelan Simmons), a bunch of guys with machine guns and others try to stop it. The main victims (who I think are supposed to be the comic relief but it's hard to tell) are an old rich bitch (Paula Shaw) with a yippy terrier and a snobby effete gold-digger (David Millbern). Apparently the monster can be knocked out with a single tranquilizer dart, but can live through dozens of bullet hits. The Chupacabra design is acceptable (though unoriginal) but the rest of the movie is devoid of suspense, surprise or interest. A boring Sci-Fi Channel "original" movie; they've made dozens of movies just like this with nearly interchangeable characters and plots, but with slight alterations on the creature. Enough already!

Outlandishly zany utilization of the Chupacabras legend as a rampaging beast aboard a cruise ship. Movies with ghosts, monsters, etc. stowing away on cruise ships and looking for victims to rip to pieces have been popping up lately, perhaps due to the enclosed, claustrophobic environment that it provides for the beast-vs.-humans carnage.The legend of Chupacabras has it/them about the size of a garden gnome, yet the creature in this movie is man-sized. Some loony scientist wants to capture it for some reason. Study it for scientific value? Display it publicly as a carnival freak for quick money a la King Kong? Not certain, I was too busy laughing at how ludicrous the story was. Anyway, he does succeed in capturing it, and smuggles it aboard a cruise ship. Of course: mad scientists always smuggle vicious, bloodthirsty monsters aboard cruise ships, don't they?Bodies start piling up immediately. Meanwhile, we're introduced to about eight or so major characters, all having dinner at the Captain's table. Speaking of meals, it takes about two seconds to figure out who in this group will wind up as Chupacabra's breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, dessert, and so on.The movie is action packed; I'll give it that, and it ends up being entertaining, in spite of the goofiness. There are some plot and character contrivances, usually to set up the next victim's encounter with the creature. Plenty of battles with the creature ensue; some with gory scenes, and others are downright ridiculous. It seems like the characters throw everything but the kitchen sink at this thing to kill it, and come up with some remarkably creative ideas. The story is paced surprisingly well, and the actors really take the whole thing seriously, or try to.The kung fu scene has to be seen to be believed, and is worth the price of admission, all by itself. Riotously fun, and good for a cheap laugh.

I don't like "Slasher Movies", but I LOVE Monster Movies. So I guess I was pre-disposed to enjoy this movie. But I really did get a kick out of it.And Chupacabra Terror is a great low-budget trapped-with-a-monster-in-an-enclosed space movie. There have been movies about being trapped with monsters on an island, (The Killer Shrews) or on a spaceship (Alien), or in an isolated snow-bound facility of some sort (The Thing, The Shining, Alien Vs. Predator). But this is the first movie I've seen where the victims are trapped on a cruise ship (But I must note I've never seen GHOST SHIP or DEATH SHIP, which are now on my list of must-sees).And I have to say, in spite of the cranky writing, overacting, and silly rubber monster, this movie was a highly enjoyable spectacle and well worth popping some popcorn for. Just make sure you turn off your brain. You'll cheer when the guy that looks like Kato Kaylin gets it.As an end note, I'm also looking forward to SNAKES ON A PLANE, featuring Samuel L. Jackson trapped on an airplane with killer snakes! Yeah Baby! Rumor is that Sam is FORCING the studio to NOT change the title to anything less silly than SNAKES ON A PLANE, and for that selfless act, I can only state that my respect for Mr. Jackson has increased even more. Keep a lookout for that. In the meantime, you may enjoy CHUPACABRA TERROR.

In general, I prefer horror movies that creep me out so much I'm afraid of everything for the next day or so, not the ones where people act stupid and get killed by an indestructible monster. This is one of those movies. The chupacabra of legend is a dog-faced lizard-skin greenish-gray monster that hops like a kangaroo, has fangs and claws, has a row of sharp spines sticking out from its back, and sucks the blood of livestock. As in many horror movies, good and bad, this movie takes liberty with the legend. It not only attacks humans, but it eats their intestines and has a bulletproof, nearly indestructible constitution. So tell me, how can a hypodermic needle penetrate its skin when bullets can't? And why, when the marines figure out that armor-piercing bullets can hurt it, do they split up so the chupacabra can pick them off one by one? John Rhys-Davies gives a performance that rises above the bad movie, and Chelan Simmons and Dylan Neal deserve credit for their performances, too. Otherwise, the rest of the acting was poor to bad, just like the rest of the movie. My rating is based on Rhys-Davies, Simmons and Neal.