The Amazing Transplant (1971)

I love this movie so much

Absolutely the worst movie.

There are better movies of two hours length. I loved the actress'performance.

The joyful confection is coated in a sparkly gloss, bright enough to gleam from the darkest, most cynical corners.

If memory serves me right, this is the first Doris Wishman film I have seen. To me, it can be likened to seeing a car crash by the side of the road: it is tragic, awful but something tells you to keep looking. After Arthur Barlen has had a penis transplanted from his dead friend, Felix, he goes on a raping and murdering spree whenever he sees gold earrings. His detective uncle (Larry Hunter, who reminds me of Burt Young of Blood Beach 1980) has the task of tracking down Arthur.Doris Wishman certainly seems to be something of an acquired taste. There are pointless shots of objects such as a telephone base and carpets as people walk over them. Walking along the streets is also a good one. Then there is the off-screen dialogue. This film is supposedly classed as a "roughie" but compared to other films of the genre it seems quite tame. Maybe it is because the DVD version reviewed runs for only 71 minutes instead of the database figure of 77 minutes and the more extreme stuff has been cut; but why? Surely we should be able to make up our own minds.

I admit I was a Doris Wishman virgin till the other night, but "The Amazing Transplant" finally broke my cherry. Cheesy, smutty grind house fare like this comes as a breath of fresh air to a cult film enthusiast like myself. I watched it twice (at 70 minutes, not hard to do) just to make sure I absorbed every aspect of the film's dubious appeal. I was glad I did! Wishman's work here reminded me of early John Waters minus any of his dubious artistry. What is seen here is the the use of ordinary homes and apartments as sets, the shooting of street scenes without permits, actors providing their own wardrobe, and footage being shot without synced sound and then adding all dialog in post-production.The story has nice average guy Arthur turning into a serial rapist and murderer for reasons no one can ascertain. Neither his concerned Mom, or his police detective Uncle, can fathom why Arthur is considered a suspect in the murder of his girlfriend since he is such a gentle soul. The worried Mom turns over Arthur's "little black book" to his Uncle, who goes about the task of interviewing the women listed in the directory. They all recount episodes (seen in flashback) of being raped by the once gentle Arthur, who becomes a sex maniac when he sees a woman sporting dangling gold earrings.Fascinating in its sleaziness, if only because it transports the viewer back to the late 1960's, much in the way a home movie would. There's enough to enjoy in the costumes, decors, wallpapers and set decoration, all of which Wishman lavishes attention on, to keep viewers interested. There's even a few frames of a close-up of a carpet, with nothing on it but a little dust.I laughed at the lingering shots of a telephone cradle, as someone speaks into the receiver off camera. Extended shots of the character's feet with ugly shoes or boots, and garbage-strewn sidewalks add elements of randomness. Wishman constantly relies on reaction shots of her characters, seldom focusing on any character delivering dialog. The over-dubbed dialog is heard spoken off camera throughout the entire proceedings.Actually, some of the actors are attractive and exhibit a willingness to attempt a performance, including Brazilian Juan Fernandez as Arthur. He soon gave up acting and went behind the camera to become a cinematographer. But Larry Hunter as the pasty detective Uncle, and dour Linda Southern as the concerned Mother give absolutely toxic performances that really could make audiences run for the exits. Some of the actresses who play Arthur's victims seem attractive enough, but all their half-hearted struggling against him isn't convincing in the least.** out of *****

Perhaps a trained psychiatrist could help me understand why three of the films I have recently rented have had to do with what I can only call homicidal genitalia. First there was "One Eyed Monster," in which the alien-possessed wiener of Ron Jeremy goes on a murderous spree. Then there was "Teeth," about a teenage woman with the condition known as "vagina dentata." And now...1970's "The Amazing Transplant"! The director's credit in this film is given as "Louis Silverman," but the picture's use of unsynchronized dialogue, meaningless shots of inanimate objects, horrendous acting, bad fashions, garish decor, sloppy editing and an oftentimes non sequitur jazz score all demonstrate that the real "auteur" here must be none other than "the female Ed Wood," Doris Wishman. During the course of this truly sui generis experience, the viewer meets Arthur Barlen, a young man with an unfortunate tendency to attack and rape any woman he encounters who is wearing gold earrings. The cause, as his detective uncle soon discovers by doing a little sleuthing (and I really don't think I'm spoiling too much for potential viewers at this late date), is the penis transplant that Arthur had had three months earlier. During this bloodless procedure, Arthur remains fully conscious and even carries on a running conversation with the operating surgeon! Anyway, having previously suffered through five other Wishman epics--"Nude on the Moon," "Bad Girls Go to Hell," "Another Day, Another Man," and the Chesty Morgan abominations "Deadly Weapons" and "Double Agent 73"--I suppose I should've known what to expect here. Just call me a glutton for punishment. This DVD, by the way, from those maniacs at Something Weird, looks surprisingly fine--better than it deserves to--and, typical for this outfit, comes with some pretty wacky extras. The naval scare film on sex hygiene might just turn you away from intercourse for good!

This is classic Doris Wishman - shots of dead air, horrible dubbing, impossibly bad acting, New York City streetscapes, and scene direction so terrible that'll it make you gasp. (Also expect a ton of her signature feet shots and eccentric art direction; this time around it involves a puzzling equestrian theme). Anyway, if you know Doris and like her take on gonzo sleaze, "The Amazing Transplant" is gonna be a fun time. Similar to "Bad Girls Go to Hell" "Deadly Weapons" and "Double Agent 73," this movie is, in its awfulness, pretty consistently funny. My only real complaint with "Transplant," as an unintentional comedy, is that the sex scenes are way too long. (Picture a 5-min scene between two ugly people, most of which comprises shots of the guy's bare arse. Yeah...). That said, expect to fast forward through some parts. It is worth it, though, because almost every scene is laughable in some way. (The scene with the killer's mom, whose dress sports multiple mustard stains, had us laughing heartily). If you are new to Doris Wishman, and feel up to the task of viewing some of the poorest film-making imaginable, I'd start with "Bad Girls Go to Hell," because it showcases all the signatures of the Wishman style, minus half the sleaziness of "Transplant." If you had a good time with "Bad Girls," and weren't offended or anything, queue up "The Amazing Transplant." This is unintentional surrealism at its sleazy finest. Further proof that Wishman was, alongside Coleman Francis, America's most inept film director.