Flakes (2007)

So much average

Please don't spend money on this.

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

Top 3 Reasons Not to See Flakes1: Zooey Deschanel. She plays a terribly dressed, self-absorbed ditzy hipster named Miss Pussy Katz who runs around saying things like "you can't nurture your soul and accumulate at the same time" and ruins everyone's lives with her self-righteous drivel. For the first time, Zooey Deschanel loses that endearing balance between obnoxious and endearing and goes full on obnoxious. Don't watch it unless you're willing to run the risk of hating Zooey Deschanel forever.2: The plot. A guy (Aaron Stanford) works at a cereal bar (it's just what it sounds like). Another guy opens a less dirty version of the cereal store across the street. They call each other names for 45 minutes, then hand out a bunch of flyers and make DIY t-shirts. Then the movie is over. Seriously. That was the whole movie. It grossed a whopping $311 dollars in its opening week. 3: Hipsters. There is nothing more obnoxious than listening to a bunch of post-teens waxing self righteous the "best" years of Cap'n Crunch and the bouquet and mouth feel of Fruity Pebbles like baby wine snobs. Except when they eventually switch topics to rip on "suits" and "consumerism". The dialogue does its best to remind us why we hate hipsters in the first place: because they're really just hateful little future conservatives dabbling in corporate sponsored "counter culture"...it's like Urban Outfitters started making people.

Having somehow sat through this movie, the one good thing I can say about it is "well, at least the concept is original". The rest of it, though? Utter garbage.The film is horribly acted, the characters mumble and groan their lines in disinterested fashion, and Zooey Deschanel attacks her role as Miss Pussy Katz with the same dull, wooden lifelessness that she always does. How she is thought of as a good actress by anyone is beyond me.The writing is poor, and it tries way too hard to appeal to your typical hipster demographic, though the fact that it somehow manages to have more painfully faux-indie dialog than Diablo Cody's "Juno" is an accomplishment in and of itself. The two main characters are also absurdly named, reinforcing the whole notion that the movie is simply trying too hard. Calling characters "Neal Downs" and "Miss Pussy Katz" is beyond silly, and feels like it's been done sheerly in an attempt to be quirky.The message of "Capitalism is bad!" gets shoved down your throat from the start - Deschanel even quips that "you can't nurture your soul while sitting atop a pile of money" - and by the end, you're praying for this garbage to end, which it does, in the cheesiest, most predictable way possible, a shame, since you'd think a movie with an original concept might have an original ending.The "comedy" is virtually non-existent, and not once during the movie did I laugh, nor did I even spot many attempts at making a joke. May I just don't "get" it because I'm not cool enough.A dull, lifeless, 85 minutes (or thereabouts) that feels like twice that. Avoid it.

I really enjoyed this. It's a fun, quirky flick with a fun, quirky cast, and the music/set was very well done. The two leads, Aaron Stanford and Zooey Deschanel, had great chemistry and both carried their roles with style and skill; Deschanel is hilariously adorable as always, and Stanford gives his character, Neal, a lovable, believable charm. The concept itself is quite cool as well, I thought; what other movie is about competing *cereal bars*? While the "Franchises = BAD" message is sort of smacked in your face throughout the film, it's definitely worth the occasional eyeroll. Basically, if you're looking for a movie that will make you laugh out loud, have you rooting for a happy ending and leave you smiling when it's over, 'Flakes' is for you.

This movie has ripped off a New Orleans musical mainstay known as Quintron and Miss Pussycat (www.quintronandmisspussycat.com) without giving them any due credits or consultation. Lehmann has cheapened, and poorly disguised, what most New Orleanians consider a musical and cultural asset to our community. It's a shame that some locals participated in the making of this movie, knowing what a sham it was. Quintron and Miss Pussycat are an inspiration to post-Katrina New Orleans and their likenesses/ story shouldn't have been abused in this way, especially considering how terrible this film is. Do yourself a favor and skip this. Check out the real Quintron and Miss P instead.