Snake Eater (1989)

Thanks for the memories!

i must have seen a different film!!

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

"Soldier", a tattooed Nam vet and ex-cop (Lamas) gets on his Harley and goes after the psycho Hillbillies in the swamp who killed his parents and kidnapped his sister. This action movie with Gore and humor has a few things going for it. It has an aqua cycle, a killer in the bear suit and a scene where a woman swallowed a whole snake! With Josie Bell, Robert Scott, as a psycho hillbilly named Junior and Welcome Back Kotter's Ron Palillo as a gay arsonist and Rockability Legend Ronnie Hawkins as a friendly biker. The title is the name of the heroes Marine Squad. A sequel was filmed at the same time. All in all a very mediocre B movie with Lorenzo presences barely keeping it afloat. The opening song is quite good and very 80's like.

I have known about Snake Eater for several years. It always looked like it would be ridiculous. Last week I finally saw the film and my assumptions were correct. Snake Eater is awesome in the most ridiculous and cheesy ways possible. The bad guys are backwoods inbreds that provide some of the funniest lines ever in an action film. They manage to murder Soldiers ( Lorenzo Lamas) parents and kidnap his little sister. Soldier sets out on a mission to kick hillbilly butt and save his sister. What ensues is comedic gold. Including the main red neck putting on a bear suit to Soldiers motorcycle being transformed into a jet ski. If you have not seen Snake Eater then you have missed out.

Jbach claims to like shitty movies but clearly he has no idea what a shitty movie is because Snake Eater is quite good compared to a lot of movies out there. Lorenzo Lamas is a pretty darn good actor, if you ever seen his series Renegade you'd agree. I gave it a 10 because its a good watch and its got good ole comedy you don't hardly see these days. You can't expect an old movie such as this to have really great acting, yeah some of it is bad but overall this is a great movie. Jback needs to refrain from being a movie critic because he clearly lacks the know how. I have yet to see the 2nd or 3rd but I am sure they will be good also.

Terrible, but amusing nonsense starring low-grade, but hardy action star Lorenzo Lamas (known as soldier --- even his sister calls him that) going Rambo (as he was originally a member of an elite marine squad; Snake Eaters) on some backwoods inbred yokels (with names like Junior, Slim, Eli) that murdered his parents and kidnap his sister while on a houseboat holiday. This tears him up… but vengeance is oh so sweet. He's quite handy in constructing booby traps, but the guy doesn't seem much of elite solider as he struggles to dispose of these hillbillies.The film starts off quite strangely (you know some bonding time to get to know the cool, collected soldier - well kind of), as now he's a cop, an undercover one, a rouge, a ladies man who learns of the bad news (but before that he nails down some trouble in a botched drug bust and busts teeth in a bar brawl), so off south he goes encounters local old man who likes him, also rude locals, ugly locals that don't, shows them a picture, a lovely picture of his sis, dribble, nothing but profanity in response, soldier doesn't like that, trouble occurs, he inflicts pain, he receives pain, old man to the rescue, well not so, now old man's daughter to the rescue, takes soldier home, it hurts, lays down, rests, wakes up, gets rubbed, with oil, pretends sleeping, old man's daughter finds out, chats up old man's daughter, sleeps again, cries about his Harley, hey lets turn it into a jet ski, makes a bomb, uses the bomb, rides up the river, hit's a hillbilly snag, ends up in the river, hillbillies' yahooing, goes wandering, in the swamps, gets bored, becomes resourceful, makes traps, hides in the dark, hillbillies go a hunting, old man turns up, drunk, rambling, encounters unfriendly hicks, no a bear, really hicks, pretending to be a bear, now old man's daughter turns up, destroys soldier's awesome set-up, standoff occurs, insults fly, one hillbilly dead, traps work, oh no, captured, sorry its my fault, end up in sleeping bags, hanging from trees, left to die, dry up, one hillbilly returns, gets randy, tries to get it on, but stabs himself in the moment, No more hanging, what to do, is that the old man, dead, crying, sobbing, old man's daughter gets help, emotions run high, soldier finds his sister, hillbillies everywhere, shotgun blasts, tractor driving and one-one-one combat, someone's head goes squish, Soldier and sister are together again. In the end we know how it goes they live happily ever after. Oh lets not forget the interplay between Junior who just wants to get it on with soldier's sister, but something always gets in the way and there's a love triangle stirring with Junior's sister Sissy who doesn't like the competition. Quite riveting. … Well a soldier's work is never done, because for the last 5 mins he ends up taking on an arsonist. Quite unnecessary to everything that has gone before it, but very amusing nonetheless.Everything about it is cheap, tacky and daft but it remains constantly entertaining in its fundamental, if over-the-top nature. Lousy or eccentric acting (hey it's Ron Palillo), grungy setting and low-grade cartoon-like thrills aplenty. Some atmospheric scenes arrive from the night time sequences in the backwoods, but for most it's laughable and filled with padded out filler. "As dirty as Dirty Harry, as dangerous as Deliverance" Nice tag-line, but I think not.