Cold & Dark (2005)

Best movie of this year hands down!

Good concept, poorly executed.

Don't listen to the negative reviews

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

"Never trust anything that bleeds for a week and still doesn't die."Vice Sergeant detective John Dark(Luke Goss, who seems more worried about how cool he looks on screen)realizes that his new, well dressed partner, "Governor" Morty DC Shade(Kevin Howarth, who grows more and more creepy and menacing as the film continues)was actually killed in a raid on slave runners gone awry, revived by the blood of a foreign girl which gives birth to a creature(..labeled a "grail" by a kooky member of internal affairs, Dr. Elgin portrayed by bald-headed Matt Lucas)inside him. The grail yearns for blood, slowly transforming the host, creating a monster which replaces Shade overtime. Shade begins attacking those behind the slave-running operation which moves underage girls from country to country illegally for prostitution purposes, and Dark stands pat because playing by the rules hasn't brought the "bad guys" to justice. But, when Shade attacks a decoy placed in harm's way by the mastermind behind the entire slave-running operation, Dark convinces himself that the monster must be destroyed before things really get out of control. Albany(Carly Turnbull), a secret agent keeping a member of the slave-running organization safe because of his testimonies against his comrades in exchange for favors, butts heads with Dark when those associated with her client are turning up dead, horribly disfigured by some sort of beast with a nasty overbite. Soon Dark and Shade will have to duke it out or else the monster poses danger to the human race at large, not just those undesirables which break laws and pose a threat to society.Director Andrew Goth presents a flashy neo-noir Gothic horror flick which also works as a variation on the vampire theme and cop drama. The British-speak is on display and the tough-talking detectives ooze machismo. The villains of the film are rather undeveloped, only serving the plot as delicacies for Shade's vampiric monster, which emerges from a hole in his hand(..also, before the monster appears, long nails burst forth from Shade's fingers). Goth's style is ambitious and flamboyant as he uses all types of camera set-ups and movements, attempting visually, it seems, to make up for the paper-thin plot. Without the creature, this is just another Death Wish variant with Shade replacing Bronson's vengeance seeking vigilante, out for his own brand of justice. The heavies in the film are colorful, but they appear, are killed, and disappear..card board characters placed in the film as vermin for extermination. One member of the slave-ring, a woman needing money for her young son, Tommy(Rhys Moosa),who forges passports, is developed a bit because we do need some sort of sympathetic character in this film, other than agent Albany(..who often seems but a mere robot doing her duty to prevent harm towards her voice into a major operation she wishes to demolish)for when you have a story seething with such corrupted sorts and coppers stooping to their level to "clean the streets", it's nice to find someone to care about if even slightly. The attacks are often committed in a way to not show the creature eating inside it's victims perhaps due to budget constraints(..instead we are privy to the pleasured expression on Shade's face as he "feeds"). The creature is also rather shown quickly, never fully visible too long on screen, perhaps because it's created through CGI, which would expose how unrealistic it is. A lot is left to our imagination, that's for sure. Shade looks more and more like a vampire as the film moves along, his eyes absent of humanity, as he carries a ferocious visage. He really looks like a human monster by the film's climax. The film doesn't go out of it's way to explain how this creature came to be and the entire warehouse sequence where people died, including Shade(..the director follows Dark as he attempts to find his partner and the two slave-runners who were party to this particular exchange), occurs away from our eyes. Merely a hanging female corpse whose blood drops gave new life to Shade, combusting into flame, is our reason for the creature's existence.

Two violent English cops fight crime until one of them is infected with some supernatural parasite that makes him crave the taste of human flesh. The violence continues, but in a slightly different way.The first thing that struck me about this film is the use of a blue lens, which seems to be a new fad in horror movies. "Saw III" used a similar tint, and I know I've seen it a few other places, as well. While I like the mood the tint brings out, this technique is becoming too obvious for me and I hope the fad goes away in a year or two because it's just going to get old.Horror fans who like gore will like this movie, or at least like the gore in this movie, because there's plenty of it. In one scene, a man is waiting at a glory hole to get a little sausage. Moments later, plenty of fluid comes through the hole, but not what he was expecting. Minutes later, another man is shoved through a wall right in front of a hysteric small child, his face mangled to all hell. The violence continues like this for most of the film.By the way, I also enjoyed the glory hole scene for its use of a Rubik's cube, which I haven't seen used effectively in a movie since the 1985 Chuck Norris flop, "Code of Silence". (Yes, I found a way to reference Chuck Norris in a horror film review.)I was a bit distracted by the English accents, which are fairly thick and the volume is not loud enough to help you make the words distinct. This is sort of like "Trainspotting", but I found this even less easy to adjust to. I almost would have welcomed some Americans dubbing voices over the top of the film, despite my dislike of dubbing.The director (Andrew Goth?) knows how to film a scene and get right where he needs to be. Early on during a rooftop scene, he implements some dynamite overhead directing, as if from a helicopter or from Superman's point of view. It was very nice, and much more than you usually get from people you've never heard of. Another reviewer said that Goth, "displays a strong visual style and a good eye for interesting camera angles," which I think is a great way to say it.The movie sadly suffered from a convoluted plot, where I asked myself "who are these characters?" a few times. Earlier people are already forgotten by the middle of the film, and you aren't really sure what the underlying plot actually is. If the first half is drug dealers who don't show up in the second half, and the second half is about a parasite that never shows up until 43 minutes into the film, where is the consistent story? Also, another reviewer called the movie "well-made but intensely boring" and I would not necessarily disagree. While I was not bored, the lack of connection to the movie made it more difficult to get into what should have been a breathtakingly beautiful work of art.I also never even figured out who the two main characters were, which I think is a huge drawback. I know the cops are named Dark and Shade, rather than Dark and Cold as you would expect, but I did not know which was which throughout most of the first half. I am pretty sure no background on them was offered and we had no reason to give a fig about either one of them.I would recommend this film to others, mostly because I would like to hear more opinions on it. I think with some minor tweaking this would have been a great movie, and I hate to dismiss it out of hand on a whim. I would give it a second viewing just to be more sure of my thoughts on the movie. It is not bad, but I'm not sure if I can say it's great. Until further examination, I leave this film with a slightly-above-average grade.

When Detective Mortimer Shade (Kevin Howarth) is somehow killed in a freezer, a parasite called Grall possesses his body, revives him, but he needs blood to stay alive. His partner John Dark (Luke Goss) accepts the new situation and together they become vigilantes, judging and killing the bad guys, with Shade sucking their blood with his claw. However, John notes that Shade is loosing the rest of humanity and becoming a monster, being aware and afraid of the danger Shade represents to mankind and trying to stop him."Cold & Dark" is a promising dark story, wasted with a bad and confused screenplay. The movie practically is linear, without plot point, and when it seems that it will reach an interesting situation, it deceptively fails and shows no twist. The cinematography and the music score are very good, the two lead actors work well, but the actor who performs the chief of police is ridicule and histrionic. The movie does not show how Shade was killed and how the alien parasite enters in his body. The open end of the story is also terrible and I honestly did not understand many inconclusive parts of the story. My vote is five.Title (Brazil): "No Frio da Escuridão" ("In the Cold of the Darkness")

A standard good cop/bad cop film with a bit of a supernatural twist of an alien parasite that sadly doesn't really work that well. Dark and Shade are partners, Shade has tendencies to go over the boundaries of typical law enforcers. One day he survives a mysterious incident in a freezer and an alien parasite enters his body. I rather enjoyed the nihilistic tone, and there are moment that you think it MAY get better, sadly like empty promises that never come through, it doesn't. Hopefully, just like this film was a tad better than his previous "Everybody Loves Sunshine", Goth's next film, the Chow Yun Fat starring "The Wretched" will be a tad better than this. But even if it's not, the title will be apt at least.My Grade: C- Eye Candy: Christie Seary is topless, she's dead, but what are ya gonna do mate?; Carly Turnball shows a glimpse of ass, hopefully we'll see more of her in the future. A LOT more