Two If by Sea (1996)

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

I remember going out to the set of Two If By Sea, I had been asked to perform a part of walking through a scene when the troopers race up behind Dennis Leary and Sandra Bullock, both of whom I have a great respect for, I think Sandra Bullock shows her depth and range in this movie.Dennis Leary can hold his character, with style, was right in sync with Roz. I enjoyed working on the set, as do many performers, I was glad Bill Mont loaned me a sweater on this day! Inside the store, I look for chips and goodies, while screeching tires suddenly stop outside....thank you to all cast and crew.

Of course, I'm from Boston and Dennis' in-jokes about Bostonians gets me, especially since I've seen the Roast of Leary. And anyone who puts out a fund for firemen has my vote, as Dennis does. I loved the ode to plasterers so subtly portrayed in the finale.I also loved his deliberate skewering of the rich folks at the cocktail party, but wouldn't it be nice just once if a writer (Leary) once said to himself: "What is the movie audience expecting here? What can I put in here that would destroy this?" How about 2 rich folks who could confront him with his deliberate "How can I best offend you?" manners, showing that it is HE who may be the reverse snob? REquires perhaps more subtlety than Dennis has. He is a great writer for 'all guys, all the time' shows: so how about something confronting his homophobic or even homophilic attitudes? I ask too much, I know.and who owned the sailboat that kept sailing in and out of our view at the end of the road in the finale? Someone who Dennis owed money to? It was totally out of place, like a kid who keeps running into the camera's view just to get on TV.Just another nit: You can't have sex in the way Dennis was trying to have it in the car, unless you're hung like a donkey, which he isn't despite his big hands.Bullock: she's great, a real class act, as Leary has given homage to many times. I have ordered his "Deliver Me" to see if his acting has improved, if not his writing. WE'll see. He seems to play John Wayne, who always played himself....that school of acting.....too much for my liking.And guess what? The unsolved Isabella Gardner art heist here in Boston is probably what triggered his imagination for this movie. Now on to 'The Ref', which DID get good reviews.

This movie´s characters and performances makes me wanna quote star/co-writer Doctor Denis Leary himself in "No Cure For Cancer": "SHUT THE F*** UP!" I like Denis Leary´s stand-up act - he´s turned in some quite good performances in other movies (like "The Ref"). Here he´s just obnoxious. I like Sandra Bullock, but she´s made some pretty bad career choices in the nineties. This is one of them. I like Yaphet Kotto, but this part is just a badly written reworking of his sarcastic FBI officer in "Midnight Run". Naming him O´Malley was pretty funny, though. *½ (of ****)

This film is the rightful butt of every bad-movie joke ever told. One of the worst and weakest of all films, it fails in ways beyond comprehension. Few movies have been any less funny or less emotionally involving for an unfortunate audience. At least with, say, Showgirls or Wild Wild West, you have something so bad it's funny. Two If By Sea does not have so lucky an audience. It's the worst kind of bad film, one that doesn't even have the decency to be humorously bad, so profoundly bad you can laugh at it. It is far, far worse. This movie makes Mortal Kombat Annihilation look like L.A. Confidential. I'm certain that watching Two If By Sea is considered torture in some parts of the world.