River of Death (1989)

Fantastic!

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

RIVER OF DEATH is an action-adventure movie which has a bit of an Indiana Jones vibe to it. It was shot by Cannon Films in South Africa, which stands in for South America. The story is once again about Nazis hiding out in the jungle, their characters represented by a couple of old-time actors, Donald Pleasence and Robert Vaughn, who are fun but underutilised. Michael Dudikoff is the hero of the hour, a guide and adventurer leading an expedition to hunt for a lost city, but feels a bit aimless in the role. Dudikoff shot to fame in the AMERICAN NINJA movies but outside of pure martial arts cinema he always seems to flounder a bit; the same was true of PLATOON LEADER. In any case, this film has nice locations and a bit of action here and there, but is otherwise overlong, plodding, and misses the mark more often than not.

Rugged adventurer John Hamilton (a solid and likable performance by Michael Dudikoff) gets hired by a team of shady folks with assorted secret agendas to find a fabled lost city located in the Amazon. Things go awry when the search party stumbles across evil Nazi scientist Dr. Wolfgang Manteuffel (a nicely sinister portrayal by Robert Vaughn).Adequately directed in workmanlike fashion by the usually more competent and on the money Steve Carver (whose other much better films include "Big Bad Mama," "The Arena," "An Eye for an Eye," and "Lone Wolf McQuade"), with an often sluggish pace, an overly convoluted script by Andrew Deutsch and Edward Sampson that gets bogged down in rather tedious talk, and infrequent, but still decently staged action scenes, this one has all the essential ingredients -- Nazis, a band of scurvy pirates, a tribe of deadly cannibals, plenty of treacherous back-stabbing characters, and a few okay plot twists -- to qualify as a possible contender, but alas the fairly tepid execution fails to make all these promising elements cohere into an exciting and satisfying whole. Fortunately, a fine supporting cast of reliable veteran thespians ensures that this picture remains watchable: Donald Pleasence as the shifty Heinrich Spaatz, Herbert Lom as the corrupt Colonel Ricardo Diaz, and L.Q. Jones as grizzled old rascal Eddie Hiller. Moreover, there's yummy distaff eye candy in the fetching forms of Sarah Maur Thorp as the sweet Anna Blakesley, Cynthia Erland as Spaatz's sexy secretary Maria, and Foziah Davidson as the tough Dalia. Both Avraham Karpick's slick cinematography and Sasha Matson's moody score are up to par. An acceptable diversion.

Director Steve Carver! Action star Michael Dudikoff! An action adventure delight!? Throw in actors Donald Pleasance, Robert Vaughn (both playing Nazis), Herbert Lom and L.Q Jones. Sounding good. Set in the Amazon jungle with its many beauties and but also constant dangers. Oh this should be humidly exciting, but the cheaply produced Cannon production shortly gave way for complete tedium. Carver… tedium? No way. Dudikoff… tedium? Can't be. But it's a yes indeed. Well more so the first 45 minutes (although within that time we are treated with some midget boxing and the intro is cool enough with its atmospheric score) and after that it somewhat picks up in something of a stop and go affair. It took me two sittings to watch it, as the first time I could only get halfway through it before dozing off. Lucky I recorded so I could sit there and try to watch it again, but it did kind of get better the further along it went.Dudikoff plays Hamilton an adventurer who becomes an Amazon guide for a doctor and his daughter in their quest to find the origins of a deadly disease that's affecting the natives. There they end up at the lost city, where the doctor is killed and the daughter captured. Hamilton manages to escape and barely makes back to civilisation. There he recovers, gathers a team and heads back to rescue the girl… but others in the party have their own motivations (gold, justice and revenge--hurt feelings) especially the man (Donald Pleasance) backing the expedition who believes a Third Reich Nazi doctor (Robert Vaughn) hides out in the lost city continuing his sadistic experiments.The plot is adapted of an Alistair MacLean novel and it comes across as dumb low-grade pulp. It throws around shadily random developments, growing mystic, devious twists (whom playing whom?) and one-note characters (who seem to be looking for death) in a very muddled, paper-thin fashion. Very talkie at times, sluggishly paced and constantly inconsistent, but the action does have its moments. Probably a little too repetitive and not as explosive (but there are numerous explosions). Still it's gritty and unpleasant, as the party when they not flying, hiking or using their riverboat they are thwarted by Amazon pirates, aggressive natives and of course evil Nazis led by a mad scientist (Vaughn is simply wasted here) who just wants to take over the world. Pleasance (who masterfully hams it up "Hey Wolfie") and Vaughn's exchanges are just odd, mainly in the opening sequences which do set everything up. Vaughn's blank, cold-hearted turn suit's the character, but was he really acting. Hard to tell. Dudikoff is acceptable, always having that concern look on his face. Maybe info overload. It was better when he stop thinking and went heroic --- a prophecy in the making. But it wasn't as funny as his croaky narration… please somebody hand him a cough lolly. Director Carver ("An Eye for an Eye (1981)" & "Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)") crafts out an old-fashion stapling, where it's resourcefully executed but lacking the energy and ticker to sustain its long-winded running-time. When not using staged sets, he makes good use of it sweaty locations (South Africa) with some nice scenic shots.

Seen when I was 14, a pretty kid, this Dudikoff adventure flick seemed wildly responsive to my desires from an adventure outing. The result was that I began considering Dudikoff an impressive cult—actor, an impressive action—star, something I've never really felt about, say, Lamas. I passed this conviction on to my family as well—such that a movie like that one (In Her Defense ) where Dudikoff loves Mrs. Marlee Matlin was quite respected. I can say I imposed Dudikoff as an essential movie star in my family.I thought RIVER was ideally crafted. Generally, I delighted in such formula movies—the more they conformed to a pattern, the more I liked them—Nazis hidden in South America—how thought—provoking is this? I liked Dudikoff's adolescent, charming air, a strong and handsome lad.