Jayne Mansfield's Car (2013)

So much average

Absolutely the worst movie.

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

It's 1969 Morrison, Alabama. The Caldwell clan has 3 brothers Skip (Billy Bob Thornton), Carroll (Kevin Bacon), Jimbo (Robert Patrick), sister Donna (Katherine LaNasa), and patriarch Jim (Robert Duvall). The men are all veterans of various wars. When Jim's ex-wife and mother to the 'kids' die, her present husband Kingsley Bedford (John Hurt) and the Bedford family Phillip Bedford (Ray Stevenson), Camilla Bedford (Frances O'Connor) comes over from London to bury her back home in Alabama. The two families try to deal with the estranged relationships against a backdrop of volatile outside world of Vietnam and inner worlds. Jim is fascinated with car crashes. When a nearby town has a side show displaying Jayne Mansfield's car that she died in, Jim Caldwell takes Kingsley Bedford along for a look.This movie is jam packed with great actors but they keep getting into each other's way. Writer/director Billy Bob Thornton lets this assemble of talents go off on their own and loses any structure or narrative. There is a lack of clarity. It needs to tell us clearly that the kids aren't actually related early and often. There is also a plodding pace to it all. They are moseying along and every once in awhile, there is an amazing scene between some of these great actors. The movie is just too uneven with the splintered groups garnering different levels of interest.

I was a bit shocked at how much negative press Billy Bob Thornton's latest effort has received in the mainstream critical media. It's been called racist, homophobic, grating, and stereotypically one-note. Perhaps these reviewers couldn't take the time to appreciate the delicate patina glazed onto the top of this heavy Southern Gothic brew, not only by some stellar star turns, but from Thornton and Tom Epperson's sly, knowing script that bravely refuses to villainize any of the array of characters, no matter how crass or pig-headed their behavior first appears.I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical of Thornton when he first appeared with the break-out "Sling Blade," even though the short it was culled from was anything but slight. I thought he'd be one of these rural "artistes" who falls back on sentimentality and clichéd characters when he didn't have much to say. Jayne Mansfield's Car, however, proves that glib assessment was dead, dead wrong. The strongest aspect of this film is it's script, which does what every extraordinary movie does well: drops you into another place and time that---at first glance, anyway---you'd ordinarily shrug your shoulders and walk away from, then gives you every reason you shouldn't: it's populated with people who are confused, conflicted, and multi-faceted to the point where they don't seem to recognize each other any more, even after living in the same house for decades.The casting is impeccable and Thornton has an incredibly light-touch with all of them. Robert Duvall does what he does best: providing the anchoring figure of Jim Senior with an authority and gravitas that he can express with a lift of an eyebrow. His three sons are wrought over a nice spectrum of angst: Thornton's Skip, the ne'er do well middle son who did everything right but was always a bit too "off" to be dad's shining star. That honor went to Jimbo (Jim Jr., a ferocious Robert Patrick) who played closer to the mold but never saw combat as Skip and Carroll (Kevin Bacon) did, thus considering himself a failure. Skip and Carroll live with scars and resentments from their own tours of duty in WWII and Vietnam, respectively and their anti-war sentiments continue to draw them further from Duvall, in every sense of the word.Even though the crux of the drama revolves around the return of Duvall's wayward recently deceased wife (Tippi Hedren, a pretty darn good corpse), who divorced him for Englishmen John Hurt 15 years before, the canvas of this film is really about the tortured relations between fathers and sons, and the cost of war and death and what it "means to be a man." The War angle is particularly intriguing in that it plays out in the heart of Alabama in the late-sixties, where the malingering odor of Vietnam melts into the residues of a century of warfare, the star of which is the ghost of the Civil War.The culture-clash aspect is amusing and well-played, but not even remotely why you should see the movie. The script ensures you know the characters so well, that all that formulaic hicks-meet-Brits stuff quickly goes by the wayside.Thornton and Epperson's script gives each character a suitable bravura moment and most hit them out of the park, in particular Thornton, in a touching monologue delivered to Frances O'Connor in the forest and Bacon, whose hippie malcontent faces off with Duvall with quiet dignity and aplomb.This is not a film to hang on for forced drama, but it's one you'll have a difficult time turning away from and an even harder time leaving, from the place where you so unceremoniously were dropped.

It's obvious that Director/Writer Billy Bob has a lot on His mind. Transferring those thoughts to the page might prove somewhat difficult. Imaging said thoughts on the Screen is even more of a challenge. Although it is a valiant effort, in the end it renders itself flat but occasionally interesting.There are far too many words in this misfire and a surprising lack of Style. 1969, at the height of very diverse opinions about the Vietnam War and Patriotism that did drive Families apart, would seem to be a fertile field for Thornton to let loose and express. But nothing here seems all that insightful or profound, more like a rambling, soft spoken rant on something about War, Family, Drugs, and Sex.It is not a bad Movie but falls very short from being anything more than a great many great Actors given a load of lethargic points to make and for the most part it all just seems sort of Ho Hum. Not the sort of thing that these deep and touching themes deserve.Jayne Mansfield's car does make a Cameo.

I watched this movie with a group of regular movie goers. One person stood up and said, "If I had seen this in a theater, I would have stood up and booed"-- Two people fell asleep. Another said, this makes Ishtar look like a compelling masterpiece. The movie was painfully slow, with dreadful dialogue, shameful use of great talent, boring to the audience and a pity the director never made it to the set. Whatever was paid to the cast....next time could Billy Bob s spend less money on a dyed red wig and a few more on a script and director. The use of Jayne Mansfield's name in the title was a con to drag us in--thinking it would be clever and edgy. Beyond disappointing.