Starcrash (1979)

Load of rubbish!!

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

I'm in a particularly masochistic mood tonight and I've been watching some ultra schlocky sci-fi films which came out in the late 70s and early 80s. "Starcrash" is not the worst of the films I've been watching...though by any objective standard, it's total crap. This Italian-made film was dubbed into English and stars some familiar faces--such as the beautiful Caroline Munro (a bond girl and star of other 70s schlock), Marjoe Gortner (who had a career rebirth in the 70s in made for TV movies), David Hasselhoff (before he was famous) and, inexplicably, Christopher Plummer--the only genuinely GOOD actor in this mess of a film! My guess is that the filmmakers were holding one of Plummer's family members hostage to get him to appear in this crap-fest!The film begins in outer space--and perhaps the ugliest and worst rendered version of outer space in any 1970s film. The colors are garish and might just provoke seizures in some viewers, so be careful! The story is about a couple idiotic space smugglers (Munro and Gortner) who are sent to prison but then offered a reprieve if they help the Emperor (Plummer) to locate his missing son and stop an intergalactic baddie, the Count. It's all VERY boring, the effects are god-awful and there isn't much to interest any viewer aside from Munro and a few other lovely and scantily-clad ladies. Amazingly dumb and really, really bad.

Premise: Plucky outlaw Stella Star is conscripted by the galactic emperor to travel to the "haunted stars", and destroy a planet-sized doomsday weapon under the control of the eeeeevil Count Zarth Arn.Component Parts: Spaceships from old-skool Battlestar Galactica, Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon, Barbarella from her eponymous movie, and Luke Starkiller from a very early draft of Star Wars. Put 'em in a blender and hit "frappe" and you've got this movie.Highlights: plastic spaceships with visible model glue, Ray Harryhausen-esque stop-motion animation, a wise-cracking robot sidekick with Roscoe P. Coltrane accent, and David Hasselhoff: the lightsaber-wielding space prince.Bottom Line: Campy, guilty pleasure, 70's sci-fi. I lost track of all the times I exclaimed "Oh no they didn't!!!" (And yeah, they always did.) Pair it with 'Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone' for a cheesy sci-fi double feature.

I won't take too much time describing how bad this movie was. I think most people have already done a better job than I could describing the awfulness of this film. Bad dialogue. Check. Bad acting. Check. Bad special effects. Check. Bad rip off of Star Wars. Oh hell yes. The only thing of minor interest in this movie was that a very young David Hasslehoff appeared in it. Also....since Star Wars had Alec Guinness, the producers of this movie had to make due with the poor man's Alec Guinness...Christopher Plummer.I won't call into question the taste of the few who actually liked this disaster. They probably enjoyed Ed Wood movies too. This movie is a prime candidate for Mystery Science Theater 3K

If you want to see how bad this is, spare yourself the whole thing and just watch the opening scene. Watching the horrible actors manage flub the timing of their three-word sentences is a sight to behold.Funny? Absolutely! Watching the bad guy order his troops into combat with the stirring words of "Kill!" while they slide down the bat poles will bring a smile to the face of anyone. And that soundtrack, wow!Forget the nonsensical plot, terrible special effects and poor acting, it's got Christopher Plumber and a bunch of excuses for Stella Star to get attacked by the worst stop-frame animated robots in history. What more could you ask for?