Born to Ride (2011)

The Age of Commercialism

ridiculous rating

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Casper Van Dien gets reunited with his fellow Starship Trooper Patrick Muldoon in Born To Ride. Too bad they didn't get anything half as good as that film. Maybe they made a mistake killing off Muldoon in Starship Troopers or these two could have done sequels together.Which would have been better than Born To Ride. This film is like some kind of cinematic joke that's being perpetrated on the audience. I won't go into the plot except that these two biker dudes got stuck with a tape showing a Senator taking a really big bribe for insider information. And the guy doing the bribing wants it back and he sends a pair of goofballs to get it.It starts out quite serious and then for no reason veers off into comedy and the end, well it's almost surreal. Did anybody have an idea of what they exactly wanted to inflict on the movie going public?Casper you and Pat work something out like Pat's twin brother becomes a citizen and joins Rico's Rangers in another Starship Trooper sequel for your next project.

Incoherent plot, horrible editing.,but a bit of humor, some great Harley sounds and Theresa Russell are the only redeeming factors. The movie actually started out looking good. The two good guys stop to help a guy being attacked and they call for help and get him to the hospital. Then we see evil bad guys buying off a senator. Some sleaze bags video recorded the buy off and tried to blackmail the senator. Two unsuspecting average bikers get drawn into the fray over the bad guys looking for the incriminating video. Sleaze bag opens door, sees bad guys pounding his brother, runs to a biker bar but doesn't tell them he needs help. DUH. Bad guys catch up to our heroes and hold them at gun point. The heroes escape but the movie doesn't tell us how they did it.The bad guys car has a flat, the temporary tire is put on then the car is seen driving with the full size tire, then the temporary is back on.The funniest part was when the truckers smash the bad guys car for driving like idiots.

Two bikers take off to go to Sturgis (which happens in August, though a newspaper says it is still Spring) and get involved in some sort of government chicanery.This comes to us from director James Fargo, best known for "Every Which Way But Loose" and reunites Casper Van Dien with a terrible beard and Patrick Muldoon from "Starship Troopers". This is the second film to do this in 2011 (the first is "Turbulent Skies") and the lesser of the two.Also here is William Forsythe as Jack Steele. He is so talented, I feel bad they put him in this film. And I am not sure what the point was. He comes off as menacing but his henchman are hapless dopes like the cop in "Smokey and the Bandit". So is this a comedy? An action film? What is it? Another reviewer called this film "beyond awful", and that is the sad truth. The plot seems to make sense, at least for a while, but then goes radically divergent from any sort of sense. Plots start and end at any given moment, people disappear without explanation... just when I thought I knew what was going on, I was more confused than before. And I was sober.Do yourself a favor and avoid this film. Maybe with a case of beer and a friend or two it is worth watching, but I found very little redeeming in it.

This movie is awful. Casper Van Dien stars as a biker--and while I don't personally dislike him as an actor or want to stereotype bikers--Casper's clean-cut (even with a beard), pretty-boy looks don't fit the part very well. The acting is lame, the background music horrible, and the story doesn't even make sense!The movie starts with Casper telling a story about what happened to him (the point of the movie), but most of the scenes for the story he's telling take place without him, meaning he wasn't even there...so how could he know?However, what helped bring about pushing the "Stop" button before the movie even came close to ending was this: There's a scene where Casper and friend round a corner on their bikes, and you can see a Police Car facing the direction across the intersection in the direction they're going. Less then half a block after their turn, they see a criminal disturbance and jump in to help. A person is injured, and a neighbor calls for help. Yet, amazingly enough, the Police Car that was half a block away never shows up! Continuity error or just bad movie making?I made it through another ten bad minutes and turned it off. Do yourselves a favor and skip this one.