Mean Machine (2001)

I wanted to but couldn't!

hyped garbage

Don't listen to the negative reviews

The acting in this movie is really good.

As a fan of the original Burt Reynolds movie, I had mixed feelings about this movie. On one side as a traditional football (soccer) fan and not a fan of American football, I though I'd get more enjoyment out of it. On the other side I love the original movie so much it would obviously suffer in comparison, and let's be honest Vinnie Jones is no Burt Reynolds. Plot In A Paragraph: A disgraced former footballer is sent to jail for three years for drunkenly assaulting a police officer. Once there the Warden wants him to train the guards football team, he refuses, after a while he agrees to play in, and coach a team of cons to play the gaurds in a one off match.Whilst not as enjoyable as the Burt Reynolds version, it is a lot of fun with Jason Statham stealing the show as The Monk!! While Danny Dyer gets a lot of laughs, likewise Vas Blackwood as Massive and David Kelly is touching as Doc.

Vinnie Jones - about as Welsh as Sean Connery - was the worst footballer ever to play for Wales.I realise that's rather a rash statement but I'd back it up by saying he was the worst player ever to turn out for Wimbledon,a team not known for their adherence to the "Beautiful Game" ethos.His fame - apart from nearly crippling Liverpool's star winger in the second minute of the 1988 Cup Final - rests mainly on a photograph of him squeezing boy - child Paul Gascoigne's testicles in a tender moment.That really says all you need to know about him. Reading his Filmography just now I am mystified at the number of movies he has graced with his presence.Is it just me? Anyhow,"Mean Machine" is typical of the no - brainer bullet - headed roles he accepts as to the manner born. Appalling overacting by everybody,limping direction,Am - Dram production values and a script written by a computer set to "Cockney " mode.....and they're the good points.... Even with 10 pints of Stella and a Mutton vindaloo down your gullet it's still frankly unbearable.

This film is about a disgraced national football coach who gets imprisoned for assault. He coaches the prison football team to play against the guards.While watching the first half of the film, I was so sure that I would not enjoy it. All the roughness and senseless violence put me off completely. However, as soon as the football match kicks in, I was amazed by the way it lifts my spirits. The match occupies 30 minute screen time, but there is not a second of boredom. Instead, it is so mightily engaging and thoroughly intense. It felt as if I was there to experience the match, and just like everyone, I was hoping for the ultimate pride that would last forever. I am truly impressed by the incredible story telling of "Mean Machine".

Generally, I'm a fan of any British; that doesn't count me as an unfair person. When I'm talking for movies, I'll like to be honest and fair, because I love cinema...So... I'm a huge fan of European cinema, specially for French & British.This particular "kind" of British movies, the "so-called" ACTION-COMEDY ones, specially the kind of movies like the "Snach", is my TOP FAVORITE kind.This one, "Mean Mashine", is a quite good movie to watch. So, why I voted with "7"? Simple... If you're a fan of Vinnie Jones (as player or actor) and the incredible Jason Statham, you can't vote something below "7"! Of course, "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels" & "Snach", are two of the TOP British movies, with really clever scenario, fantastic directing and great acting.But... in this movie, you'll find yourselves laughing many times, by the unique British humor and... phrases!"Bollocks"!