Gwendoline (1985)

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Good concept, poorly executed.

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Yes, it's dumb, and campy, but if you're in the mood for brainless entertainment, this might fit the bill. It's an example of the schlock-action-boobs niche that actresses like Sybil Danning and Shannon Tweed were well known for in the 80's.The basic plot is an adventure that riffs heavily on the Indiana Jones motif, but it serves mainly to get the women to take their clothes off. Considering that the director was previously involved in "mainstream" porn like "Emmanuelle" (1974), "The Story of O" (1975), and "Lady Chatterley's Lover" (1981), this really shouldn't come as a surprise. This also helps explain the casting choices, as the female roles are filled with actresses who are lovely to see, but otherwise awful at acting.The single best part of this film is a sexy young Tawny Kitaen, prior to her days as the resident "babe" in Whitesnake music videos.

Perhaps the best movie ever to be made (starring Brent Huff)...What can I say? I tried to review NEMO (1984) a while back and was pretty lost for words. Whatever happened to films like this? There was a period in the early to mid 80's where cinema just went... not wrong... balmy, I think is the word.This has been called INDIANA JONES meets BARBARELLA but it's so much more. By ignoring the comic book, Jaeckin has, ironically enough, preserved the graphic form on film. He is, after all (and first and foremost) a fashion photography so his arrogance of story structure leads to the best eye candy you'll see in a long while. Sequences from this film may have resembled Jodorowsky's aborted Dune project had it ever have been made! Sure the first half is pretty slow but it leads into the strangest and most mind-blowing balm-pottery ever to hit celluloid, as Gwendoline and her pals go on a mission to find a rare butterfly, her missing father and a lost civilisation. The city of Yik-Yak itself is some of the best visualisation I've ever seen, not unlike an S+M party in a salt mine. Forget the acting (PLEASE forget the acting) just sit back, listen to the vaguely Michael Nyman-esquire score and watch the mind-blowing images unfold. Otherwise, just pretend you're watching TINTIN: THE MOVIE, as rendered by Peter Greenaway.

Gwendoline, or the Perils of Gwendoline, is loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the bondage-themed comics of John Willie. Willie's stories were basic melodrama with a lot more kink. They are pretty tame compared what passes for erotica today (no sex, just fetish), but this movie was pretty tame for Willie.This film tries to blend the Willie kink with some Indiana Jones adventure; but, there isn't much adventure or kink. The film is never particularly erotic. Sure, there are a few bondage scenes, with unusual Willie/Stanton devices and scenarios, and plenty of nudity, but it's not that exciting. The only really interesting scene is the gladiator battle. The costumes and the absurd nature of the combat add a Barbarella flair to the scene.The budget is too small for any major stunts and doesn't have the creativity to make better use of the Terry and the Pirates meets Indiana Jones flavor at the beginning. The hidden city is never shown well to add any exotic flavorThe acting is atrocious, barely above real porn-level. Tawnny Kitaen is one of the worst actresses I have ever seen. The rest of the cast is completely forgettable.Unless you can't find any porn, forget this film. it's not entertaining enough for a vanilla audience, and not kinky enough for fetishists. Watch Raiders of the Lost Ark or Bound, instead. Or Barbarella; at least it was somewhat comical.

THE PERILS OF GWENDOLINE IN THE LAND OF THE YIK YAK (phew!) is a real guilty pleasure of mine. I like this movie a lot. In fact, I'll tell you the things I don't like first: the "upbeat" music is annoying (the one that they use during action scenes). The ending is too abrupt. The editing is very sloppy. Some of the dialogue IS infantile. And Bernadette Lafont is not my favorite French actress. That's it. I like the rest of this Just Jaeckin flick.The music, except for the annoying action bits, is excellent. The cast is uniformly attractive and game for all the S&M shenanigans. Tawny is perfectly cast and has that youthful, almost girlish charm about her that was needed for the role of Gwendoline. And I'm surprised Brent Huff's career didn't go anywhere after this. He's as good as any Ben Affleck (arf!). And the acting, as bad as it is, is perfect for this kind of movie. Don't except Meryl Streep acting in a story like this. I can't wait for GWENDOLINE to be on DVD, with widescreen presentation. It's a unique movie that they just don't make anymore and it's pure eye candy.