Three to Tango (1999)

I love this movie so much

Best movie ever!

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

For some reason when I picked up this movie for 99c on ebay, I assumed it would be one of those sexually-charged, ménage-à-trois, gender-bender flicks that populated the late 90s like "Chasing Amy" or even Neve Campbell's own "Wild Things". I didn't watch it for that reason, I watched it because it was 99c.Much to my surprise and delight, "Three to Tango" is a charming, family-friendly comedy that deals with sexual roles tastefully, much like Francis Weber's classic "La Cage aux Folles" (1978) remade in English as the equally classic "Birdcage" (1996). Or if you really want to get back to the roots of the mistaken-sexual-identity sex comedy, Willilam Shakespeare's "Twelfth Night" (1602).It's best to know nothing about the plot, that way the twists and turns are more of a hilarious surprise. But yes, the story centers around a classic case of mistaken sexual identity, and from there the hijinks ensue.What's exceptional about this movie is that it does a great job of reversing roles, not just for the individual characters but for society as a whole. A lot like a surreal Franz Kafka story (such as "Metamorphosis" where the main character wakes up to learn that he is a giant cockroach), "Three to Tango" puts the main character into a different identity, forcing us to see the world through a different perspective. And much like Kafka's story, the comedy lies in the absurdity of people's reactions, even though nothing has changed except for their perception of the main character.Yeah that's a lot of heady gobbledygook, so let's just talk about the movie already. The overall vibe is a great throwback to those classic & classy Blake Edwards comedies like "Breakfast at Tiffany's" (1961) or even the Pink Panther flicks. What I mean is that this story is very prim & proper (no crass potty humor or cheap shots) and yet it's not afraid to sink to few good slapstick moments, such as a couples barf scene that's both hilarious and oddly romantic. There are also 1 or 2 totally surreal moments (again much like in a Blake Edwards flick) such as Matthew Perry panicking and running through the streets of Chicago only to run into a flock of... what's the cliché, pigeons? Haha, not in this case, but I'll let you see it for yourself. It's a quick one so pay attention.Also like in a Blake Edwards flick the music is AWESOME. Some very cool old jazz, swing and big band numbers are peppered throughout, in a way that really punctuates the comedy (similar to the great soundtrack of "When Harry Met Sally").Let's talk briefly about the acting. Pay close attention to some brilliant non-verbal acting on the part of each character. I'm talking about their complex reactions without any script. As the story un-twists, each main character has a moment of realization, and I felt they all pulled it off very well. Just by looking at their expressions change, you know exactly what they are thinking and how the wheels in their minds are spinning. Applause for Neve Campbell, Matthew Perry and Dylan McDermott (and director Damon Santostefano) for giving us these powerful yet subtle performances that aren't necessarily as thunderous as George C. Scott's monologue in "Patton", but they convey just as much information and emotion to an audience that's paying attention.The script itself is pretty well written, not really full of zingers but very natural and believable. Of course with it being Matthew Perry from Friends fame, a lot of his delivery is in that deadpan sarcastic "Chandler" vein with Neve Campbell being the perfect spunky counterpart. Also, Oliver Platt and half a dozen other minor characters also did a great job.Definitely catch this movie if you get the chance, whether or not you find it for 99c on eBay, it's worth your time.

Three to Tango (1999): Dir: Damon Santostefano / Cast: Matthew Perry, Dylan McDermott,Neve Campbell, Oliver Platt, Cylk Cozart: Witless and pointless film about conflict. Everybody assumes that Matthew Perry is gay because of his business relationship with Oliver Platt. Dylan McDermott takes advantage of this and convinces Perry to spy on his mistress. As predicted they fall in love while Perry tries to play out this idiotic gay assumption. Those who are not disappointed by this depraved piece of crap have obviously fallen asleep before it ended. It is predictable and boring and director Damon Santostefano does little to help it. He previously directed numerous TV shows that are probably a far cry from this. Doing a commercial for cat litter would be a higher achievement. Perry looks like the victim of a bad joke. McDermott is basically playing a one note role unworthy of his time. Neve Campbell as the mistress is reduced to a prop who comes to the obvious realizations, but not before viewers beat her to it. Platt is a decent actor playing a role unworthy of his talent. He basically stands back and takes the hit for the idiocy provided here. There is no real reason to see this film other than to observe a struggling cast in one of their worst career moves. It all boils down to a pointless orgy that should be tramped upon by no less than three people. Score: 1 / 10

When I heard about this film(some three years ago, I think) I immediately shunned the very thought of sparing it as much as a glance, due to my strong dislike of Matthew Perry. Then the TV channels started sending it. Over. And over. And over. And today, after who knows how many times I've skipped it(which I thank myself for, even more so now), I decided to give it a shot... you know why? I found out Neve Campbell was in it. Of course, that's not the only reason... Campbell's hot, and a good actress, but she's not good enough to outweigh Perry's aggravatingly stupid presence. No, what really did it was that I found out that John C. McGinley had a role in it. Believe me, as long as he's in it, I'll watch almost anything. I discovered and immediately loved McGinley when I saw an episode of the series "Scrubs", and saw, nay, experienced his character of Dr. Perry Cox dish out one hell of a verbal punishment. I'm not exaggerating, I'd watch "Scrubs" if it was just half a minute of McGinley giving one of his speeches directly at the camera, once a week. I love his character. Since I know he often plays that same type of character(The Animal, On Deadly Ground and The Rock), I hoped that he would have a big role in this, and that he'd make the movie tolerable. Unfortunately, it was not to be. His entire screen-time amounts to about five minutes in total, and the film is even more horrible that I could have imagined. The plot is one of the most ridiculous and unoriginal that I've ever heard. The pacing is so bad that it seems like the director expects the audience through anything. The acting is not worth mentioning. The characters are all clichés and stereotypes... especially the characters that were supposed to be homosexuals. Believe me, I try to be tolerable. My personal philosophy of, well, anything at all, pretty much, is as follows: as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I'm fine with it. Homosexuality, metro sexuality, sports... anything. As long as no one is hurt, neither physically nor psychologically. I try to tolerate and respect any and all movies out there... but I can't bring myself to respect this putrid piece of trash. I know the majority of people are(at least, so it would appear, from all the 'entertainment' based on this assumption) ignorant when it comes to homosexuality... but this is too much. This is too far. Every single human being is supposed to have that one impulse-controlling part of the brain, the one that keeps you from jumping on every woman that walks by you, and so on... but apparently the director and everyone else who really had anything to say on the production on this... 'film' didn't have that. Just when you think it has reached the bottom, it goes lower. Why must Hollywood portray homosexuals as constantly horny, will-take-what-they-can-get types? Are we supposed to think they are some kind of animal? A genetic mutation? Why? Just because they aren't interested in women on a sexual level? I think if I ever had one wish granted, it would be to have a... shall we say 'talk' with the director of this putrid piece of cinema. Tell him exactly how ignorant he is... if possible, keep him from spewing of more movies like this. It's people like him and the director of other horrible propaganda-like movies like Saving Silverman, which displayed atrocious amounts of misogynistic tendencies in its tone that are the downfall of morality... not violence in popular media. I don't recommend this movie to anyone... stay away... far away. You might catch 'stupid' from watching it. I know my head feels lighter... about 20-30 IQ points. 1/10

The only way you could like this movie is if you're a heterosexual who has remained completely oblivious to the political development of gay people over the last fifty years. You might recall plotlines like this from the Rock Hudson/Doris Day era, because it's the last time they were acceptable. Every conceivable scenario is viewed through the anticipated discomfort of some token oblivious straight viewer. You know, gay people are merely amusing side dishes in the lives of heteros. Every gag reinforces that distaste is the unquestionable, correct response to gay people. I fast-forwarded through much of it, but something tells me that even the assinine "drop the soap" joke that straight guys have been laughing at for 4 decades (!), makes an appearance. Check the expiration date on these jokes, guys!I guess the only conceivable worse way for an overexposed sitcom star to step into movies might be to star opposite a monkey (Matt LeBlanc). This movie is also an insult to Chicago which is infinitely more modern/accepting of gay people than this tripe suggests. Everyone associated with this project should be sent by rocket into the sun.Laugh, giggle & stay completely mired in your subjective, mindless understanding of human sexuality. You'll probably really enjoy Amos 'n' Andy too.