Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Thanks for the memories!

Good story, Not enough for a whole film

if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.

Despite the really bizarre and misplaced attempt at humor that director Ellory Elkayem opted for "Eight Legged Freaks", then this 2002 movie is still worth watching if you enjoy a monstrous creature feature.The story, in all its simplicity, is about a small town that become the hunting grounds for huge, aggressive spiders.While this movie doesn't instill any academy award winning moments, then people still managed to do good jobs with their given roles and characters. Most memorable was Doug E. Doug as the eccentric Harlan Griffith.The spiders in "Eight Legged Freaks" were actually quite nicely animated and did look like real arachnids. Well, aside from the sounds they made at times, which were epic fails at bringing comedy into the movie. It was a shame, because this actually dragged the movie down into a mediocre experience.Yes, there are far better spider movies available, but I do think that if you enjoy such movies then "Eight Legged Freaks" is still worth sitting down to watch, just tune out the ridiculous sounds that were added to the spiders in many scenes.

I have to admit (and maybe this is sexist) that when Kari Wuhrer appeared playing the sheriff of this Arizona town it was almost enough to make me give up almost before the movie started. She just doesn't fit the bill. Too young. Too pretty. But truthfully - as the movie goes on, she works in the role. First, her performance was pretty good, and second, it's a movie that forces you to suspend your disbelief anyway, and so the fact that she doesn't work in the role actually makes her work in the role. If you see what I mean. Sheriff Parker has a big job on her hands. Her town is being invaded by giant spiders, grown into huge mutants by the dumping of toxic waste. There are tarantulas and jumping spiders and trapdoor spiders and all kinds of - well - eight legged freaks. (The name of the movie sums it up so well!) There's an interesting enough cast of co-stars for Wuhrer, including David Arquette as the owner of the local mine who's just returned to town, Scarlett Johansson as the sheriff's daughter Ashley, and Doug E. Doug as a guy running an outlaw radio station who believes in every conspiracy theory going.The story's fun, it's sometimes exciting and every now and then frightening - and it does have a few "cringe" moments as the spiders do what spiders do. Sure it's a silly movie - but I suppose that it does have barely beneath the surface a serious undertone about the environmental dangers of toxic waste. Establishing the romantic link towards the end between Arquette and Wuhrer was too predictable and too formulaic, and not at all necessary for the story. But that aside, I thought this worked pretty well.Don't take it too seriously. Just sit back and have fun with it. (7/10)

Common-or-garden creature-horror movie. Only worth watching because it includes a pre-fame Scarlett Johansson.Not original - reminds me a lot of Tremors (which itself wasn't that original). Pretty much standard creature-horror plot, action and CGI.Even the CGI, which you would think would be the best feature, seems a bit crude.As mentioned, worth watching because it includes Scarlett Johansson before she was famous. Her next movie was Lost in Translation...Kari Wuhrer is also eminently watchable. David Arquette proves yet again that his siblings got the acting genes, while his talents clearly must lie elsewhere.

This is going to date me. "Eight Legged Freaks" is the first time I can remember being excited about a movie no one else cared about. It was my first year of high school, I think. I was just far enough into my teens that my love of black and white creature features were confirmed. Someone was attempting to revive the big bug picture in 2002? Hell yeah, I was up for me. No one else was. It bombed domestically (though broke even internationally) and reviews were middling. The movie isn't quite old or endearing enough to have a cult following. If the "Eight Legged Freaks" fandom has to start somewhere, let it start with me.The story is basically "Gremlins" by way of "Tarantula." This is most obvious in how the film treats its threats. The giant spiders of "Eight Legged Freaks" are arachnid goof balls. The CGI is clearly dated but the animators and special effect guys made sure the spiders had personality. They mumble, shriek, and grumble like Killer Tomatoes. Their vocalizations are intentionally exaggerated and cartoonish. On two separate occasions, giant spiders get dragged behind moving cars. One grumbles in frustration after taking a bite out of a stuffed moose. Another jumps flat into a closed window. One spider out-boxes a boxer. Another cheers on his brothers as they rush the mall. One slides down on a rope, screaming the whole way. A shot spider swings on a thread, dousing his pals with green spider goop. One of the best spider gags involves a sneaky tent. Even a die-hard arachnophobe is more likely to laugh then scream. "Eight Legged Freaks" is less a modern reinvention of the classic big bug flick then a Mel Brooks parody on the subgenre. I guess some might find that to be a one-note joke but, I don't know guys, wacky giant spiders? Count me in.The film also nails the small town setting. Prosperity, Arizona is nicely isolated at times. The ensemble cast quickly gives you a sense of community. You believe that this small time is fighting for their mutual survival. The crusty old barber and near-sided janitor are equally amusing, each assign simple, entertaining personalities. Doug E. Doug finds a great home for his overtaxed comedic style as the local conspiracy radio host. His beleaguered shouts of frustration prove consistently funny. Rick Overton is also great as Deputy Pete. His reactions to the spiders are, at first, shocked confusion, later transitioning to dead-pan fear. Leon Rippy's talents are also well-suited to the conniving town mayor. Tom Noonan, uncredited and with minutes of screen time, makes an impression too. The strong character actor cast is another reason to love "Eight Legged Freaks." The supporting cast proves far more memorable then the leads. I'm willing to give David Arquette more slack then others. But there's no mistaking the guy for leading man material. His attempts at one-liners are especially groan-inducing. His performance works best when playing up his nervous qualities. Kari Wuhrer is never convincing as a mom or action heroine. Yeah, she looks fantastic in tight jeans and t-shirts but can hardly carry the film. She has zero chemistry with Arquette. Even Scarlett Johansson, hardly a great actress in her right, outshines the leads. (And also looks fantastic in tight t-shirts and jeans.) You can actually see elements of a more serious horror film under "Eight Legged Freaks" goofy exterior. A mouthful of spiders, regardless of size, is likely to make some squirm. The trapdoor spiders snatching people running across a parking lot could have been mined for real scares. Probably the biggest action set-piece in the film is the jumping spiders going after the kids on dirt bikes. This is the closest the film comes to real tension and, even then, it's awash in silly special effects. I'm not complaining, simply noting. It wouldn't surprise me if this started life as a more serious screenplay.The script is decently constructed. You can tell that the cigarettes, stun gun, and underground gas veins will be important later. I still appreciate the effort to set them up. I also appreciate the horror in-jokes, "Them" on TV, the mall invasion finale, the Hockey Mask/Chainsaw combo. The Micky-Mousing score is probably the only thing about the movie I don't like. That's the only overly jokey element. Even then, incorporating a low-pitched version of "Itsy Bitsy Spider" was clever. An early scene where a spider and a cat wrestle inside a wall probably goes on too long and reaches too hard for the kind of silly laughs the rest of the movie has no problem with. "Eight Legged Freaks" is still underrated and underseen. This surprises me. I can think of many horror fans who would love its goofy charms.