Beethoven (1992)

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Unshakable, witty and deeply felt, the film will be paying emotional dividends for a long, long time.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

One of the worst ways to make a cult movie is to set out to make a cult movie.

This movie is an otherwise delightful comedy, but its major theme is the abduction of puppies for "scientific" experimentation. This is not suitable material for children to see.A movie should not start out with me wanting to put a bullet through someone's brain: Dean Jones as Dr. Varnick. Beethoven reminds me of something Stephen King would do: Candy coat something gruesome like he did with Christine or The Green Mile. Why did John Hughes find it necessary to subject us to animal experimentation and probably torture, and wrap it in the disguise of a comedy? Why?Both he and Amy Holden Jones have written in pictures that I have liked and that I deem respectable; Breakfast Club, Mystic Pizza, so I have no idea where they were coming from by adding this warped, malevolent current into Beethoven.Certainly the picture could have done without it and only suffered from its inclusion. It would have been easy to like Beethoven. Had it been a simple comedy with some adventure, I probably would have given it a 7 or an 8. It's a shame that someone with immature, Satanic sentiments had to spoil the picture.

This movie has various elements and themes that are not only annoying and pushed way too far, but also not the best acting. It's a very melodramatic movie, dose have some crude humor and mild swearing, and isn't really appropriate for its intended audience.Flaw 1: The little girl, Emily (played by Sarah Rose Carr), was almost as much of a spoiled little brat as Drew Barrymore or the Olsen Twins! She's one of those, "aw, so sweet cute little kid" characters, fake and makes you want to run off and puke in a bush somewhere. She says various annoying lines in the film, such as yelling "dog killer!" at her father for supposedly putting the dog down because it was considered a threat. One of the most annoying characters in a movie I've ever seen! Flaw 2: It's one of those "dogs are a member of your family" movies... DOGS ARE NOT PEOPLE! I can't stress this enough! Lately there's been this trend with fat women who call their dogs their "fur-children" and treat them like people... ugh. Dogs are dogs. I'm not saying it's right to be cruel to dogs but treating them like humans, especially considering the various activities dogs do every day, is just messed up.Flaw 3: The anti-animal testing stuff could seriously scare kids. The vet, played by Stanley Tucci, is selling his patients to animal testing laboratories. I don't honestly care about animal testing and kids won't either, but if you ever have to take a family pet to the vet, and your kids have seen this movie, you'll have to burden yourself with explaining to them that vets are not monsters who sell pets to vivisection projects.Flaw 4: The eyes on the dog look fake, is the dog a puppet at some parts? There are various others, I just figured I should list off the worst. To be fair, Beethoven had one or two funny moments, okay soundtrack and an original plot. But it's so damned corny, with the picture-perfect, pastel family in the suburbs. Beethoven was probably the worst movie off 1992 - actually Ferngully: the Last Rainforest was - but there are worse things you could be watching, like The Hunger Games or An Inconvenient Truth.

Beethoven is a St Bernard puppy who escapes from a couple of dog thieves (Stanley Tucci, Oliver Platt). He follows George Newton (Charles Grodin) into his house. The kids fall in love with him and his wife Alice (Bonnie Hunt) wants to keep the puppy. It's a battle between George and Beethoven for the run of the house as he grows into a giant dog. He's trying to sell a business deal to Brad (David Duchovny) and Brie (Patricia Heaton). The dog is super smart and becomes the family's best friend. Evil vet Dr. Varnick (Dean Jones) has a sideline selling dogs for evil experiments while working with the dog thieves.It's the grumpiness of Charles Grodin that makes this marginally funny. He allows the audience to laugh at him and there are some pretty good slapstick fun. It's mostly good family fare with a really evil villain. The bad guys are a little too ridiculous. That takes a little bit away from an otherwise fun family movie.

For those who have no idea what this movie is about, they may think this is a movie about the famous classical music artist. Well, it has absolutely nothing to do with it. "Beethoven" is not even a biographical or a musical, it's a family movie about a St. Bernard named Beethoven after a portion of Ludwig van Beethoven's "Fifth Symphony" is played and the puppy barks at the same time, as if he was telling how he wishes to be named.Anyway, generally speaking, this is a sympathetic family movie. Nothing super or tremendous, but a simple and enjoyable movie. Of course, the lovable St. Bernard is the main star and adds a lot to the movie. And anyone who loves dogs has got to love this gentle giant, if not the movie.I am a dog lover and St. Bernards are one of my favorite dog breeds. They're huge, beautiful, affectionate and sweet dogs, although they drool at lot!The story focus not only on our fluffy friend, but also on the Newton family: George (the father), Alice (the mother), Ryce (the oldest daughter), Ted (the middle son) and Emily (the youngest daughter). They're a nice family, but George isn't minimally interested in the dog, unlike the rest of the family (although much later in the film he has a change of heart and helps saving the day). Ryce... what kind of name is that? I hope it's not related to rice (the food). Emily is a lovely little girl and the cutest of the Newtons. Ryce, despite being so thin, is pretty in this film and I don't think she is a tomboy.All the actors who play the Newton family are good in their roles: Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Nicholle Tom, Cristopher Castile and Sarah Rose Karr. And, of course, the dog that plays Beethoven is also a great "actor".One word about Charles Grodin: although he was in his late 50's when the movie was made, he looked as if he was about 35. Amazing how someone that age can look so young.In the cast there is also an actor who is familiar from some old live-action Disney films: Dean Jones. Here, he portrays a villain - the wicked veterinarian Dr. Varnick, owner of a Porsche 911. His role is small, nevertheless he's in great shape. Actually, his role is meant to be minor. I don't think it would be necessary to make his role bigger.