xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)
Extreme athlete turned government operative Xander Cage comes out of self-imposed exile, thought to be long dead, and is set on a collision course with deadly alpha warrior Xiang and his team in a race to recover a sinister and seemingly unstoppable weapon known as Pandora's Box. Recruiting an all-new group of thrill-seeking cohorts, Xander finds himself enmeshed in a deadly conspiracy that points to collusion at the highest levels of world governments.
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Fresh and Exciting
Don't listen to the negative reviews
Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.
One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.
The solo Dominic Torreto movie nobody asked for, with even less to care about than the FF movies and loads more of VIn Diesel hitting us over the head with how cool he is. The movie plays like a two hour Mountain Dew commercial with Xander Cage, a too cool for school hero straight out of a mentos advertisement.The action is full of senseless cgi where practical effects would have worked, and laughably bad loony tunes caliber stunt physics. But what really hinders the movie is that the hero Xander Cage faces no real drama or obstacles, because the movie is more interested in constantly flattering Vin Diesel.Do yourself a favor and don't waste your time on this lazy vanity project schlock. There's no story here (hence the lack of a plot breakdown). This is a paint by numbers movie star ego boost and nothing more.
The original xXx is a good time. Vin Diesel, Russian parties (or Belarusian...I forgot) and the pounding soundtrack of Rammstein. It's just fun. Over a decade later, we have a sequel (discounting the Ice Cube abomination). Why? I don't know. Yet here we are. Xander Cage is recruited to obtain 'Pandora's Box', a device that seemingly brings down satellites and make them act like missiles. Cage recruits fellow multicultural (because that's important, obviously) xXx members to save the world. Generic technological spy plot blah blah blah, you didn't watch xXx for the plot. You watched it for the adrenaline fuelled stunts, the sheer crazy feats that Cage achieves. Unsurprisingly, this fell flat. Riding a motorbike on water? Sure. Jumping and flipping over moving traffic? Why not. Skiing down a jungle mountain? Wait what!? Props for the stupid stunts, they did indeed put a smile on my face. The inclusion of Donnie Yen doing his own stunts and owning every fight scene was perfect. The light sarcastic witty tone bursting throughout the script was fun. But that is all this film is...fun. Leave your brain behind and just watch the mindless action unfold. Even so, there are way too many issues here. Generic boring plot aside, Vin Diesel clearly loves himself too much that he constantly surrounds himself with beautiful women and relishes the chance for topless scenes. Extremely over indulgent, he is an action star unfortunately. The supporting cast, apart from Yen, were wasted. Toni Collette was a weird choice and Ruby Rose was underused. The visual effects were horrendously noticeable. Vin Diesel's stunt double was far too obvious, especially in fights with Yen. Caruso's direction was mediocre at best. Substituting Rammstein for electro pop music is the worst crime. Who doesn't love Rammstein!? The original was more memorable in my eyes, so I have to downgrade this. Fun but far too mediocre.
I like terrible movies that I can laugh at, but this is something else entirely. I laughed one time and that's when Xander basically performs a roundhouse with a dirt bike to a persons face. I could list things that are better, but it would take 10 years to complete that list so all opt to list the things I enjoy less 1. Gay porn 2. Twilight The end.
"Rock, paper, scissors, grenade launcher" -Darius Stone 10 out of 10, best movie of 2012.