Arthur the King (1985)

People are voting emotionally.

Don't Believe the Hype

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Find any aspiring young film makers and force them to watch this as a lesson in how to bugger up a film in every department, and thats every department.....script, directing, lighting, ccstumes, acting, action scenes, editing,....absolutely nothing escapes the awfulness that seeps from this turkey that would make acorn antiques look like the royal Shakespeare company, The cast list is second to none and how on earth any of them took part will probably rank alongside the mystery of the origin of the universe......In summary, take the best grapes from a region called champagne, give it to the masters, and produce.......tesco value cola.................

I thought (I recall) that lifelong-super-dingbat Dyan Cannon was responsible for this atrocity. It was about this time I began to detest her hopelessly cheerful, west-coast, idiocy. She has a brand of brewed-in-California, positive-vibes only, spacy on & off-topic blather that she employs to derail every conversation she particpates in. I remember watching a bit of this with my mouth hanging open. There is a particularly appalling scene/effect with Cannon and Merlin holding hands and spinning in the cave for some unknown purpose. What on earth is Malcolm MacDowell doing in this? It really has to be seen to be believed. One of the worst made-for-TV movies ever!

Merlin and the Sword (a.k.a Arthur The King) is a genuinely terrible sword and sorcery opus which features a cast full of seasoned old pros and young stars of the future. Quite how these talented actors and actresses were persuaded to lend their faces to this ridiculous production is anybody's guess, but after a while it becomes embarrassing to watch so many gifted thespians sinking in the quicksand of such a foolish script. Director Clive Donner has made some good films too, so one has to wonder what was going through his mind when he agreed to direct this turkey. Perhaps everyone involved had some overdue bills to pay! An American tourist, Katharine (Dyan Cannon), is on a day-trip at the ancient monument of Stonehenge when she inadvertently falls down a hole. When she lands at the bottom, she finds herself in a cave - no normal cave, mind you, but a cave which which houses the famous wizard Merlin (Edward Woodward) and his lover Niniane (Lucy Gutteridge). Merlin has apparently been imprisoned with his lover in this cave for a thousand years. The arrival of Katharine gives him an excuse to tell a story, and pretty soon he is narrating a tale about his old companion King Arthur (Malcolm McDowell). Merlin tells of Arthur's marriage to the lovely Queen Guinevere (Rosalyn Landor); the poisonous plotting of Arthur's treacherous half-sister Morgan Le Fay (Candice Bergen); and the forbidden love affair between Guinevere and the trusted knight Sir Lancelot (Rupert Everett). This cheapjack fantasy never really works in spite of the strong cast. There's something fundamentally stupid about the plot, which could have been serviceable if dealt with in a more tongue-in-cheek manner, but here comes across as merely risible. There's also something terribly wrong with the general atmosphere of the film.... maybe it's the hopelessly '80s music score which is as cheesy as a lump of mature cheddar; maybe it's the over-modernised dialogue which doesn't ring true amid the Middle Ages period trappings; maybe it's the atrocious special effects; or maybe it's just the all-round air of indifference which affects the film both infront of and behind the cameras. It's hard to believe that Rupert Everett and Liam Neeson (here guilty of lacklustre performances) ever went on to become big stars. It's equaly hard to believe that the likes of Woodward, McDowell, Bergen and Michael Gough (who has a bit-part as a forgetful archbishop) ever were big stars in their own right. On the whole, this is definitely one to skip!

I saw this movie years ago on the late show - was switching channels and came across Dyan Cannon in Stonehenge... that piqued my interest... and then there was Malcolm McDowell and Liam Neeson... and Edward Woodward as the great wizard Merlin... this movie is Grade Z, but the cast is fantastic... this is one to invite friends over, crack the six-pack and heckle. I'd love to get a copy for this reason alone. I'm surprise MS3K hasn't picked on it yet!